Survivor Update: Week 5

 

We enter the week following Reba’s tribal council. If you’re not a baseball fan you may not have noticed that Tai-Chi master Sifu looks EXACTLY like former Red Sox scum David “Big Papi” Ortiz.  Henceforth, Sifu shall be called “Little Papi”.

                                                                  Separated at Birth?

 On his way out, Sean told the Tai-Chi Master leaving Papi he did not vote for him leaving Papi a mixture of angry, paranoid, and worried because someone DID vote against him. When he confronts Dee, Julie and J. Maya, they all deny it. Little Papi wastes little time in preparing for the worst though – they believe he has an Idol, so he creates a fake one to show around camp (Points for “Create a fake immunity idol” to nobody!)

 While he does, Julie, Dee and J. Maya seethe at Sean for blowing up their games like the Witch’s Coven they are.  The only thing missing is a kettle over the fire with some eye of newt. How dare Sean do something they didn’t approve of!  Still smoldering, Papi returns to camp where J. Maya says she voted for him. She didn’t, of course, it was Dee.  But J. Maya wants Little Papi to believe The Coven doesn’t exist so she’s using this as a wedge.  He’s a weird guy and a little wonky sometimes but Papi has been wise so far. I don’t see him buying this. 

 At Belo, they are hungry and exhausted and dreaming of food to the point where Kendra considers eating a worm. She’s like, a Libra though??? So like she can’t like make up her mind whether to eat it or not, like ya know?  She eventually eats it…and immediately spits it back out. How very Libra of her (I think, I’m not into Astrology or Gastroenterology). Napoleon Dynamite says she’s like a windup toy with endless energy so henceforth she shall be known as the Energizer Bunny. That said, I want to vote her out after hearing just 10 seconds of her.  I can’t imagine having to deal with this the second I wake up on every day!   

 Brando doesn’t trust the Energizer Bunny and tries to align with Napoleon over Pokémon and other nerd stuff but the beanpole isn’t interested.  I’d have to think about it but this might be the first time I’ve ever seen someone turn down a legitimate alliance offer. Rebuffed, Brando returns to align with the Bunny leaving Emily sitting pretty (or sitting pretty vulnerable) in the middle with both pairs wanting her on their side for now.

 At Lulu, Jake (Your Cousin From Boston) passes out again but for some reason, medical isn’t called again. We get his heroic backstory – he was grossly overweight and got into great shape just to play Survivor and he’d hate that to be the reason he is removed (Points for “Reference in this game” to Jen!) . Katurah returns from the beach to find camp empty so she goes Idol hunting. Kaleb catches her and tries to warn her but it doesn’t happen. She gets caught by Kellie and Bruce who both think she’s a liability to play with.  Katurah, however, liked how Kaleb handled it.

 Then we see Kaleb working it with both Bruce and Jake, while telling us it’s Kellie that he really wants to partner with because everyone else wants to partner with her. Kaleb is likeable, genuine, and authentic but he’s also very, very smooth. Kellie is quickly won over when Kaleb shares some info about the Sabiyah vote.

 At the Immunity and Reward challenge the castaways go ga-ga over playing for fresh fish. I’m not a seafood fan, but they say hunger is the best seasoning and Kendra did just try to eat a worm straight out of the ground so any port in a storm, I guess. They have to go through an obstacle course to untie sandbags which they’ll fire at targets with rubber band catapults.  In addition to immunity and reward, the first team to knock down all three targets gets to choose someone from each tribe to go on a journey.

 Kaleb gets Lulu out to an early lead in the obstacle course but J. Maya makes up the time for Reba untying the bags in the obstacle course– she killed that!   They’re all quickly tied at the firing line but it’s Reba and Lulu who take home immunity and reward (Points for “Tribe immunity win” and “Tribe Reward win” to Jayson, Carol, Brian, Ricky, Marissa, Dalphyne, Kristyn and me!).  Winning tribe Reba chooses J. Maya, Kellie and Austin for the Journey. (Note: This isn’t a scoring category this year. I’ll add it next season).

 Back at loser’s camp, Belo breaks into rotating pairs of dizzying 1-1 conversations to decide who gets to have a boyfirend/girlfriend and who;s going home alone.  At GenCon, Brian, Jay and my friend (and winner!) Evan called this speed dating and I never argue with a perfect term.  Speed dating it is! 

 Energizer Bunny wants Brando out. Emily wants Napoleon Dynamite Out. Brando doesn’t feel safe so he offers his shot in the dark to Napoleon and is rebuffed again.  He’s just not that into you, kid. Emily runs into a conundrum when Napoleon and Brando blame the other for saying Brando would flip on the Energizer Bunny. The Bunny’s reaction to Emily sharing this information has me questioning if she’s off her meds but she’s convinced Brando and Emily will team with her to vote out Napoleon Dynamite. So if you’re scoring at home (or even if you’re alone), Brando has:

• Tried to align with Napoleon and failed
• Claimed he will re-align with Energizer Bunny
• Lied to Napoleon that’d flip on Energizer Bunny
• Offered his shot in the dark to Napoleon and failed again

 This kid is desperate to align somewhere else.  A good player would see him as a useful tool – something he can use now and down the road to accomplish his goals. This means despite his Empire building reach, Napoleon is not a good player.  Lastly, Emily wonders which duo’s got her best interests at heart, Brando/EB or ND/Austin?  The answer, of course, is C: None of the above.  No one’s looking out for you, kid.

 At the Journey, they need to climb a mountain – after a challenge and with no food - and my ankles hurt just looking at it.  That’s some serious punishment.  At the apex, the threesome is given the choices of food (heroes, or subs, or hoagies, or grinders depending on where you live) or an amulet that gives varying powers depending on how many others with amulets remain in the game.  J. Maya wants the amulet. Austin is DROOLING over the food but relents before Kellie is forced to choose.  They create an alliance but as Austin reminds us, if he takes them down he gets their powers and….they came between him and his food.  I feel ya, kid. 100%

 This is Brando’s first time at tribal and he’s nerding out as a superfan.  Asked about how he handled the swap, Brando says his relationships with old Belo makes him valuable but Napolean thinks they are blockers since they’re relationships that might get in the way of his game.  The Energizer Bunny hates tribal council because she (wisely) doesn’t trust people much. Jeff asks Napolean if he could lie to the Energizer Bunny even though she’s sitting here vulnerable.  He could, but he doesn’t want to.  As unexpected as it seems, they pair have bonded.  Emily notes that the game requires people to get to know each other and then backstab them (Points for “Reference in this game” to Brian!) and the fact that we’re still talking about our old tribes and not this one display lack of trust. To cement her point, she uses a stock trading analogy no one understands. I’m going to add this as Greengold’s Rule #4:  Know your audience.  They didn’t get it meaning at best, it did no harm. At worst, it hurt you.  Speak in words the people you’re talking to understand.

 At the vote, Austin has an immunity idol that lasts longer if he sacrifices his vote, which he does (Points for “Use a secret advantage” to Jayson!) and then he uses the goodwill advantage Napoleon gave him via Kaleb to restore his vote (Points for “Use a secret advantage” again to Jayson!).   The big question is, which way did Emily feel safest?  In the end Brando’s attempt to bond over nerd-dom with Napoleon fails, and his scattershot attempt to align with everyone paints him as a target. He’s voted out by a vote of 3-2 with Napoleon Dynamite receiving the other two votes.  (Points for “Received vote against” to Marissa and Carol!) but (Points deducted for “The Tribe has spoken” against Marissa).

 As Brando was voted out, Marissa has chosen the Energizer Bunny Kendra as her lifeline!

 Jen picks up a point on everyone but Jay who gains five this week! And while everyone else maintains relative pace, I’m languishing in last place in the current scores:

 

1. Jen: 20
2. Ricky, Carol: 12
3. Jayson, Marissa, 11
4. Roberta, Kristyn: 10
5. Brian: 9
6. Scott: 8
7. Dalphyne: 7

View the scoresheet here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1o3xil1TASvf7OwAttqr8cBDm9gLCtvX2/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=103598532985683889571&rtpof=true&sd=true

Big Brother Week Ending Thursday October 26th

We pick up with everyone who’s left cheering America’s joking kiss as Cory was voted out (Points for “Speak in opening vignette” to Roberta, Jayson, Carol, Kristyn, Jen, Marissa, and Ricky!) but she is brought to tears thinking of him in the DR (Points for “Shown on camera crying” to Ricky!). Blue was Cory’s mortal enemy so she is enraptured or something. Who can tell?  Circe internally debated keeping Cory (Point for “in this game” to Kristyn!) but she wound up voting for Cory because he was the reason Jared and Izzy are gone (Points for “Shown on camera in gray” to Jayson and me!). She does revel a bit in thinking of the conversation Cory will have with Cam though (Points for “Shown on camera in gray” to Marissa!)

 Matt and Jag make a final four deal with Circe and Felicia - the same final four deal they made with America and Cory and look how that turned out. Cory put doubt into Bowie about who Matt and Jag’s true final three is, making the Aussie paranoid.  Her paranoia could easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy here as her following conversation with Jag leaves the most dominant player in the game seriously doubting her. The paranoid spot Cory put her in leaves her in tears (Points for “Shown on camera crying” to Carol!)  Finally playing the game and this is the spot she’s in?  Yeesh.

Previous player, and one of my favorites, Johnny Mac introduces the Demented Dentist comp with “dental records” of all previous winners who have cracks and missing teeth all over their mouths.  

TIL:  BB winners have horrible dental habits.  

This leads America to mention Rachel and Jordan and Jag to mention the chortling dentist (Points for “Reference a previous season’s houseguest” to Ricky and Jen!).  For some reason, Felicia thinks she’ll be good at this comp because she’s also missing teeth. YOU WON ONE COMP BY DUMB LUCK! Felicia proves my point by saying “accuracy matters” and proceeds to get all 5 choices wrong.  As the comp requires movement and precision, it’s right in Jag’s wheelhouse and sure enough he takes home his fourth straight comp win (Points for “Win HOH” to Jen!).  

We miss you, Johnny Mac! Come back!

America cries in her DR session, partly at losing but also at the fact she called Jag an Aston Moron in her Eviction Night speech.  She wants to fix things with Jag but has no power and does some quality thinking when she goes back to Dan’s Funeral – a player who was able to influence without power (Points for “Reference a previous season’s houseguest” to Ricky!).  Meanwhile, Matt and Jag ponder who should sit next to America and Bowie’s paranoia has put her on their radar but when pressed by Felicia, Jag is non-committal about putting Bowie up.  In the end, Jag decides to put Blue up “as a pawn” (Points for “Agree to go up as a pawn” to Marissa!) but after America makes her “I won’t nominate you; I’ll use the veto on you” pitch it’s clear that Jag’s mind is on “who can beat me in a comp” which makes Blue his actual target. Blue and America are nominated (Points for “Nominated for eviction” to Marissa and Ricky!)

 On Tuesday, it’s Johnny Mac in the opening vignette (Points for nobody!).  It’s officially “I have to win this veto” season.  Note: I’m adding “I have to win (this comp)” as a category next year.  

They all “have to win it”. Blue thinks America is the plan or maybe she needs a Vitamin Water and some Advil.  I can’t really tell.  America thinks Blue is the plan, but she’s still brought to tears thinking of Cory (Points for “Shown on camera crying” to Ricky!) and (Points for “Shown on camera in gray” to Dalphyne!). They fail to compare notes though, a violation of Greengold’s 2nd Rule:  Trust, but verify!

 Circe wants Blue to stay though, as she’s been working with Ms. Kitty Kitty Purr Purr Unintelligible Noises since Jared left (Points for “Shown on camera in gray” to me!) and she can’t keep losing people (Points for “Reference in this game” to Kristyn!).   In some halfway decent gameplay, America wants to continue the War of the Duos – she has no intention of honoring the deal she offered Jag, Bowie regains her senses now that she wasn’t nominated, and Jag won’t tell Felicia about his true plan to get rid of Blue because she can’t keep her mouth shut.  Instead, he tells Circe…. who realizes “If you can go after your best friend, what’s stopping you from going after me?” Circe’s sharp, that’s for sure.

 At the veto selection, it’s Matt, Felicia and Bowie who are picked via random draw (Points for Roberta, Jayson and Carol!).  Matt tells us he has to win because Jag’s back is hurting from carrying him (Points for “Reference in this game” to Roberta!).  In an effort to blunt Jag’s plan, Circe all-but comes out and tells Felicia about Blue. Felicia can’t believe she’d say that since they are in a final 4 with them. This is the difference between someone IN the game and someone PLAYING the game.  

Felicia, of course, immediately tells Jag that Circe dished about Blue. He trusted her and protected her for Matt (Points for “Reference in this game” to Jen!) but now Jag doesn’t care how close Matt is to Circe– he doesn’t trust her.  Like Cam and Cory learned, that’s a bad spot to be in against the person winning all the comps!

 “Arrange these pictures in chronological order” is the veto comp this week.  With the way things are edited, it’s always tough to tell who’s truly fastest but America and Jag sound like they finished quickly. At the reveal, it’s Jag who wins Veto, his 5^th consecutive comp win which must be a record. (Points for “Win Veto” to Jen!).  In her frustration, America tells us she’ll take out Jag even if it’s the last thing she does (Points for “Reference in this game” to Ricky!)

 On Thursday it’s DOUBLE EVICTION NIGHT BABY! Everyone believes Jag has their best interest at heart except America who promises an American Revolution if she wins HOH.  She hasn’t won anything all season so, I wouldn’t take a midnight ride shouting “The HOH is coming! The HOH is coming!” just yet.

Circe considers keeping Blue as she can compete with Jag and if she can split the vote, it’ll make him cast the deciding vote but she can’t get Felicia onboard – she sees Circe setting up an endgame and puts a stop to it.  In an effort to setup her own endgame, Felicia tells Jag that Circe and Matt are plotting against him.  Matt’s shown saying eventually he knows he’d have to go after Jag and that he’s got a better chance at winning vs. Circe than the current HOH.  He’s right, but he’s also spineless. He talks a good game but there’s virtually no chance he’s nominating or backdooring Jag if he wins HOH.

 At the speeches, America implores the houseguests to keep her as Jag is a halitotic menace who’s always asking for lap dances.  I presume that’s an inside joke I don’t get.  Blue says something. I think it’s English but again, I can’t tell.  It must have been funny because the rest of the houseguests are cracking up.  Maybe she’s like Groot where people must be around her a lot before they can understand her speech?  It would be something to ponder but at the vote, Ms. Incomprehensible is evicted 4-0 (Points for “Received vote against” and “jury member” to Marissa!) but (Points deducted for “Evicted” and “Evicted after agreeing to go up as a pawn” against Marissa!).  America has successfully made it through! The War of the Duos continues!  Blue’s clearly got a “stage look” and her post-eviction interview with Julie is so fake it hurts my eyes and ears.

 I’m quickly saved from further punishment because IT’S STILL DOUBLE EVICTION NIGHT BABY meaning we have to move along.  The HOH comp is “look at these pictures and answer a question about the details” and these questions are HARD.  Normally in this type of comp, the winner has 6 or 7 right.  In tonight’s comp, it’s a tie between Matt and Bowie with 4 but it’s Bowie who’s closest on the tiebreaker estimation (Points for “Win HOH” to Carol!).  With 6 people left, an America + Bowie + Felicia + Circe final four, gives Bowie’s an honest chance to win. She should nominate Matt and Jag, ensuring one goes home.  Instead, she breaks Greengold's 3rd rule:  Play to win.  She plays for 3^rd place and nominates Felicia and America (Points for “Nominated for eviction” to Jayson and Ricky!)  

 The veto is “find the things in the ball pit” with a twist of “drop them from a height into a tube”.  Matt absolutely destroyed this comp at the last double eviction and the Deaflympian quickly does so again (Points for “Win Veto” to Roberta!). 

 Jag is 100000% the leader in the game. If he were on the block now, he’d be gone leaving Bowie to contend with Matt, which she might be able to do.  Instead, Matt chooses not to use the veto and America is evicted by a 3-0 vote (Points deducted for “Evicted” against Ricky!) (Points for “Received vote against” and “Jury member” to Ricky!).  Bowie ensures herself of  either 3rd or 5th as The War of the Duos ends in complete devastation.

 Now we see why Jag needed Cam gone. The Cowboy Cult Leader was the only one who could consistently beat him in a challenge.  It’s 100% his show at this point and every time they don’t take a shot at him just solidifies their 2^nd-at-best place finish.   It sure shows in the scoring as Jen takes a huge jump, gaining 18 points and pulling into striking distance of Marissa who joins me, Ricky and Dalphyne in the “our game is all-but-over” club.  Carol and Roberta each took good leaps forward too but this close to the end, they’ll need a number of comp wins to catch the leaders in the current scores: 

1. Marissa: 136
2. Jen: 119
3. Jayson: 102
4. Scott: 96
5. Roberta: 67
6. Carol: 66
7. Ricky: 65
8. Kristyn: 49
9. Dalphyne: 48

View the scoresheet here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1mXap3OUHPaSisrAyLjTTofjYISgINTw_/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=103598532985683889571&rtpof=true&sd=true