Survivor 46: Week 3

We start off back at Yanu. Kenzie feels like their bolt-from-the-blue non-Tribal night means their luck is finally changing but her mood is quickly dashed by Bhanu, who tells Tiffany that at last week's journey,  he told Ben and Liz that Kenzie is the tribe mastermind, and that Tiffany is close with Q.  Tiffany's reaction doesn't require description:

 

Nor are words necessary to describe Kenzie’s reaction:

Here’s the thing about Bhanu – he’s not a dumb person.  He is ignorant on how to play the game and does not understand “STFU” at all.  If he had thought out “I’m dead at this tribe, maybe sharing info with other tribes will buy me good will at the merge”, then what he shared makes sense.  It’s obvious, however, that he is not capable of that level of gameplay because if he was he’d HAVE KEPT HIS DAMN MOUTH SHUT.  He’s so boneheaded that he doesn’t realize what he said was wrong, and that Q, Tiff any Kenzie would be mad at him.   And that makes him the worst Survivor player ever.  It’s not particularly close, either.

 

 At Siga, Jem re-hid the Beware advantage near the water well and acts shocked when Maria finally spots and opens it (2 points each for “Find Beware Advantage” and “Open Beware Advantage” to  Carol!).  The tribe follows the instructions, dig under where the advantage was found but all they find is ants. Jem looks like she’s ready to burst out laughing but somehow, she holds back.  Brilliantly sneaky game play on her part.

 At the reward challenge, Venus, Ben and Moriah sit out (2 points for “Volunteer to sit out a challenge” to Dalphyne and Kristyn!).  They have to paddle in from the ocean and jump onto a platform holding a key.  Nami and Yanu handle this with relative ease but Siga’s Tim flops around the platform like he’s drunk, flipping it over.  In what must be Opposite Day, Yanu takes a commanding lead as Q nails the third stage and they finally win reward!  Maybe Kenzie was right!  (2 points for “Win Tribe Reward” to Roberta!). Siga finally finishes Stage 2 as Nami’s MacGyver seals the 2^nd reward (2 points each for “Win Tribe Reward” to Ricky, Scott and Jay!).  Yanu really wants food but they want a tarp and a toolkit even more, and Jeff lets them make an even swap.

 At Nami, Liz is allergic to all the fruit and the coconut and we get Tevin’s backstory when he asks to clean the fish.  Soda, MacGyver and Tevin are a solid three, except that Tevin thinks Soda’s playing him  He wants Venus gone first, but Soda would be ok too.  MacGyver wants Soda out because he’s not sure if Tevin’s more loyal to him or Soda, and that is some smart game play.  Of course, it only matters if they ever lose an immunity challenge.  Liz is also fine with Soda going first. Maybe she’s allergic to Soda too?

 At Yanu, spirits are way up as they setup the tarp while Q tries to teach Bhanu about social and strategic gameplay.  All I can picture is Adam Sandler sitting in the 4^th grade desk in Billy Madison

 

Bhanu tries out some of the new skills Q’s taught him on Kenzie and she snaps at him, asking why should she have to help him play Survivor.  And she’s right.  She apologizes to him a bit later but that’s just damage control.

At Siga, Ben tries to find positives in the loss but Maria is clearly upset, noting that as immigrants success was viewed as survival (1 point for “Mentions LGBT/alternate lifestyle / race / culture” to Carol!)  and we get her immigrant from Lebanon backstory.  Man, she’s really killing herself over this loss.  Looks like Q might have a rival wanting to carry his martyr's cross.  Meanwhile, Charlie doesn’t like that Maria told the whole tribe about finding the advantage because now everyone’s looking for the box.  He should be more worried that the whole tribe is being played by Jem, to the point that Moriah tells Jem she thinks Tim hid it. Best game play of the season so far!  They return to find treemail explaining that the immunity challenge involves jumping, worrying Moriah whose 1” vertical gets her paranoid and Charlie’s instruction has both me and Carol laughing out loud.  Oy.

At the immunity challenge, Tevin, Jem and Moriah sit out (2 points for “Volunteer to sit out a challenge” to Jay, Brian and Kristyn!)  while MacGyver is ridiculous yet again.  He’s this season’s Superman.  Bhanu messes up the path forcing him to restart and further estranging himself from the tribe while Moriah easily makes the jump, cheering all the way down

 

 Siga has a lead at the third stage but MacGyver quickly dispatches it earning immunity for Nami (2 Points for “Tribe Immunity Win” to Ricky, Jay and Scott). It’s a shootout for the final immunity spot. The combination of Bhanu’s lack of speed and Q’s poor shooting leave Yanu on the outside looking in again as Tim finishes off the challenge for Siga (2 points for “Tribe Immunity Win” to Dalphyne, Marissa, Kristyn, Carol, Brian and Jen!).  Bhanu has to go here.

 At the loser tribe, Kenzie asks Bhanu if he’s ok and he replies “no”, hands her a coconut and walks away.  He finds Tiffany and falls to his knees begging for his Survivor life.  She’s stone cold though, and tells him she’s writing his name down.  In his vignette, he thinks 5 seconds of honesty ruined his game.   Clueless to the last.

 At tribal, Bhanu tells his backstory about being poor but it’s to no avail. They’re all open about voting Bhanu and since he lost his vote at last week’s journey, he can’t even play his shot in the dark.  In one of the easiest Tribals in Survivor history, Bhanu is voted out 3-0

 

So, how does all of this affect our scoring?  On the strength of Maria finding and opening a Beware advantage (which I’m counting because it was re-hidden), Carol moves into 2^nd place just two points in back of Ricky whose MacGyver pick looks really good right now. Jay meets Jen and Dalphyne at 3^rd place while the rest of us flop around at the bottom of the current scores:

1. Ricky: 31
2. Carol: 29
3. Dalphyne/Jay/Jen: 28
4. Kristyn: 26
5. Marissa: 24
6. Brian: 20
7. Scott/Roberta: 13

 

Survivor 46: Week 2

 

 We pick up this week back at Yanu as Tiffany explains to Bhanu where the fake idol Jess played came from.  Q tries to teach Bhanu “You don’t have to say anything, you can always keep quiet”.  Sounds familiar.  Their shelter is useless and so they spend the night on the ground under an overhang which looks god-awful.

 Seeing himself as the next vote, Bhanu goes idol hunting, and laments that he’s just a normal person on a tribe full of masterminds.  Editors note:  It’s more likely he’s clueless and they’re simply average players.  Q wants to keep Bhanu around because he believes Bhanu will vote however he’s told, and I think he’s right.   After their chat about becoming the next Boston Rob and Philip (Points for “Bring up a previous season’s player” no one!), Bhanu wonders aloud whether Q was being sincere.

 At Siga (Green), the whole tribe goes idol hunting but Moriah spends half her time checking to see if anyone secretly squirreled one away.  She misses Jem finding the Beware advantage though (Points for “Finding and solving stage 1 of a Beware advantage” no one!) .

 At Nami. Nami. Nami. (Orange),  Hunter builds himself a bed.  As he can make things out of nothing, he shall henceforth be known as MacGyver.  We get his backstory as he spearfishes.  He was in medical school when he decided to become a science teacher and in his spare time, uses that big brain to replicate Survivor challenges at home.  Smartly, he doesn’t share that part with the tribe.  Venus thinks he’s sweet, but sees him and Tevin as running the tribe so they need to go. Randen’s wakes up but his right side (arm, hand) isn’t working, and he’s got tingling and numbness in them.

 At the Immunity and Reward challenge, Maria, Jem and Randen elect to sit out (2 Points for “Volunteer to sit out a challenge” to Carol, Dalphyne and no one!) .  The winning tribe will select one person from each tribe to go on a journey.

 In Stage one, Tim LAUNCHES himself off the crates (10 points for “That’s how you do it on Survivor!”  to Jen!) .  Siga and Yanu (!) take a lead.  Unfamiliar territory for the Purple tribe who haven’t won a thing yet.  We get another Jeff exclamation as MacGyver pulls Tevin over the barrel (10 points for “That’s how you do it on Survivor!” to Ricky!).  At the final stage, they have to land sandbags on small platforms over their heads. While Siga and Yanu have had a few cracks at it, Nami sends MacGyver  to do the tossing and he immediately takes the lead back and wins the challenge for them (1 point each for “Win Tribe Immunity” and “Win Tribe Reward” to Ricky, Jay and Dalphyne!).  He was the first overall pick and is proving worthy! 

 

 At the last sandbag between Siga and Yanu, it’s a contest of futility which Siga eventually ends (1 point each for “Win Tribe Immunity” and “Win Tribe Reward” to Marissa, Carol, Kristyn and Jen!)  sending Yanu back to tribal council and Tiffany to the ground in frustration.  Liz, Ben and Bhanu are chosen to go on the journey (2 points for “Go on a journey” to Scott and no one else! Hah!) .  Tiffany can’t believe they chose Bhanu. She knows he’s going to spill everything about their game and she’s right.

 Back at loser camp (Yanu), Q tries to put all the blame on his shoulders.  He tries to convince Kenzie and Tiffany to vote him out because he’s a failure. This martyr act is exhausting to watch.  You’re not Jesus, guy. You played. You lost. Stop taking it so damned seriously. Tiffany out-and-out tells Q she’s not voting for him and for her part, Kenzie can’t figure out if he’s being serious (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Roberta!).  So, my message to Q is “set down the cross and get your head in the game.”  Yeesh.

 On the Journey, Liz and Ben both butter up Bhanu in hopes of getting the dirt.  And do they ever. He starts by spilling everything, and then descends into a complete meltdown.  Somehow, he’s even more melodramatic than Q – a high bar to cross.  He says they called him a fool (which is a lie – he said that about himself [and he was right]) and that he didn’t come to win a million dollars, but to win a million hearts. I feel like I’m watching an overacted show on the CW.  Someone get me an airsick bag.

 Anyway, only two of them will compete so they draw rocks.  Liz draws the wrong rock and is sent back to camp.  No points for me ☹.  Bhanu and Ben have to build a cube puzzle before the timer runs out but neither of them is up to the challenge. They both fail and lose their votes.  (Points for “Risk vote on journey and fail” to no one!).

 At Yanu camp, Bhanu comes back dejected but at least he’s smart enough to tell Kenzie and Tiffany that didn’t get to compete.  He can’t even share any gossip because he was the one spilling all the information.  He comes clean to Q, who is now sure he wants Bhanu around (and I agree with him).  He tries to convince Tiffany to vote Kenzie, but she’s not sold.  Bhanu’s melodrama continues with “I need a miracle to stay tonight”

 At Nami, medical comes for Randen and they are concerned he may have a bulging disk.  Since that’s dangerous, they pull him from the game.  A dejected Venus watches her only ally walk out with an advantage in his pocket (No points for/against for this since he wasn’t voted out).

 Jeff comes to Yanu camp and tells Bhanu about his miracle.  No tribal tonight, everyone is safe for another day.

 It’s not bad enough that Yanu keeps losing. Tiffany’s anger, Q’s martyrdom and Bhanu’s melodrama make me want to change the channel.  Or at least see them get voted out.

 But how does all that affect our game?  Ricky and Jen leap to the lead thanks to Jeff calling out Hunter and Tim during the challenge.  Marissa and Kristyn get pushed aside by Dalphyne and Carol as the latter move into 2^nd and 3^rd, respectively in our current scores:

 

Current Scores:

1. Ricky/Jen: 24
2. Dalphyne: 22
3. Carol: 21
4. Marissa/Kristyn: 20
5. Jay: 19
6. Brian: 14
7. Roberta: 9
8. Scott: 6

 

 

Survivor 46: Week #1

 

 

Its time for our first update!  We have many new scoring categories and most old categories have had their point totals updated.  Let’s see how the changes impacted our game!

 We pick up at Yanu (Purple), following Jelinsky’s well-earned ouster.  Bhanu is a bundle of nerves, asking Kenzie how to get to the merge. She sees he’s unable to lie and could be a liability, despite having not eaten or slept.  And despite being, like, totally overwhelmed you guys, she tries to put herself in the middle by enlisting Bhanu and Jess against Tiffany and Q.  They don’t bite, however.  When the group gets back to camp, Jess immediately sells out Kenzie to Tiffany, and further endears herself by eating ants?  I don’t get it either.

 Meanwhile, at Nami (Orange)  Tevin and the crew joke about what the next challenge might be.  He’s closest to Hunter and Soda, and none of them get a good vibe from Venus who’s alone and lonely. We see how strong she is during her backstory, but she realizes that on Survivor, the same “not struggling” mentality might not serve her as well as showing vulnerability  (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’  to Roberta!”). Her loneliness leads her to idol hunting , which in turn leads Hunter and Randen to search.  She comes up empty, but Randen doesn’t!  He finds, opens and completes the first stage of his Beware advantage! (2 points for “Find Beware Advantage” ,  2 points for “Open Beware Advantage”, and 2 points for “Complete Stage 1 of Beware Advantage” to Dalphyne!).   

Back at the camp, Liz brags about how successful she is in the outside world, which puts Soda and Randen’s teeth on edge while Randen stresses about having to get his idol  (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’ to Dalphyne!) because he doesn’t trust anyone. Since she has no one else, Randen decides to trust Venus and breaks Rule #1: (STFU), telling her about his advantage. This development pumps her up so much that she starts planning how to use his idol – that he doesn’t even have yet.

 And finally, over at Siga (Green), Ben cheers the fire he started while we get his backstory.  Tim’s working with him and Charlie and the decide to bring in Maria because she has an extra vote.  Editorial:  THIS IS WHY YOU KEEP THAT STUFF QUIET! 

 Anyway….

 Charlie likes the “Charlie’s Angels” alliance, but really wants a 1-1 alliance with Maria, and she’s into it.  Both of them realize they re the new Malcom and Denise (5 Points each for “Bring up a previous season’s player” to Carol and Marissa!). Back in camp, Ben creates nicknames for everyone but I’m not using them.  Nicknames are my job, Ben.  Stay in your lane.  Taylor Swift Superfan Charlie realizes that he needs to up his social game (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’ to Marissa!) and starts a “Name a song by an artist” competition with Ben.  They go back and forth with Charlie naming Taylor Swift songs and Ben naming Metallica songs.  How many did they name? 20? 40? 80?  No, Charlie finally wins 107 to 106!  TIL: Taylor Swift has over 100 songs.

 At Immunity and Reward challenge, Soda and Hunter take trash-talking pot-shots at Yanu.  Q realizes that his tribe is a laughingstock right now (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’ to Scott!)  but thinks their 5 can compete with the other tribes 5 to which Soda replies “How’s your food”?  Not sure I’ve ever seen that approach to creating a bond before but to each their own, I suppose.

The tribes are tied after the first stage with Nami taking a lead in Stage 2. It’s an intense challenge but sit-outs Moriah and Liz take the time to get to know each other.  Not sure I’ve ever seen that either. But this challenge is all about Stage 3.  They have to hold up block letters to form a word in the shape of an archway and it looks REALLY HARD.  They all fall again and again and again.  These tribes need Jen’s favorite Superman, Jonathan. Alas, he’s nowhere to be seen as they keep failing which leads to frustration and shouting at each other.  Finally, Nami (Orange) gets theirs in place, taking home immunity and the big reward followed soon after by Siga (Green) who take the small reward. (1 point for “Win Tribe Immunity Challenge” and 1 point for “Win Tribe Reward Challenge” to Carol, Jay, Ricky, Marissa, Brian, Dalphyne, Roberta and Jen!).  This means Yanu (Purple) is headed back to tribal, leading Tiffany to shout in frustration and Kenzie to immediately target Jess since she was bad at everything in the challenge.

 

Back at Nami (Orange), Tevin sees the fishing gear which makes him feel like Rupert (5 points for “Bring up a previous season’s player” to Jay!). Venus is upset that she’s not being listened to, causing her foot to get run over at the challenge. She lets her emotions out on Soda, who twice tried to grab the immunity idol from Venus after Jeff handed it to her.  She can’t wait to flip on these people.

 

At Loser Camp (Yanu, Purple), Bhanu comforts a crying Tiffany, who is in tears because of how she lost her temper.  She and Kenzie don’t think Jess is taking the game seriously, and want her gone.  For whatever reason, they fear her shot-in-the-dark so much that the create a crappy fake hidden immunity idol with a plan to have Jess find it, thinking that if she feels trouble, she’ll play it rather than roll the dice.  That’s overly complicated considering shot-in-the-dark has worked twice in the entire Survivor history.  (5 points for “Create a fake hidden immunity idol” to Roberta!). 

 

The two plant the idol and try to lead Jess to it but she won’t look where they want her to.  It’s frustrating for Tiffany and Kenzie but it’s more frustrating for us, the viewers.  Jess is smart but she’s clearly not wise. If they spent this time talking to her about a fake strategy, they’d 100% convince her she’s safe. Instead, we get to watch them panic and come up with an even more cockamamie plan – they’ll have Q give it to her, on the condition she votes the way he tells her.  AYFKM? This is more convoluted than the plot of Inception.  Q tries to sell her on it, and she buys it to his face but questions it afterword.  The tribe begins the liar’s dance about who the vote is with Jess mentioning Bhanu, Q mentioning Kenzie and no one mentioning the obvious vote, Jess.

 

At tribal, they are all kumbaya to start but they’re feeling out who they can play with, and by ‘who’ I mean Q, Tiffany and Kenzie.  Everyone else is expendable.  Jess is clearly the target, but Bhanu does his best to talk his way into votes.  He’s proud of being emotional, which is fine, but when it comes time to vote he openly asks Kenzie, Q and Tiffany who to vote for and if they’re voting for him. WTF?  Get a hold of yourself man!

 

As the votes come out, Jess plays the fake idol but it doesn’t help.  She votes for Bhanu, but everyone else votes for her and she’s sent packing.  (10 points for “First player voted out after the game starts”, 4 points for “Received vote against”, and -1 point for “The tribe has spoken” for Kristyn!).  As she leaves, Bhanu feels like a fool and he’s right to.

 

 

So what does that mean for us?   Dalphyne jumps to a small, early lead on the back of Randen’s Beware activities, while Marissa rides Charlie’s play to a 2^nd place tie with Kristyn, who just lost Jess.  Referencing previous season’s players put Jay and Carol two points behind the leaders and Ricky, Brian, Jen, and Roberta picked up a few here and there. Here’s how it all looks, in

The current scores: 

1. Dalphyne: 14
2. Marissa / Kristyn: 13
3. Jay / Carol: 12
4. Brian / Ricky / Roberta / Jen: 7
5. Scott: 2