Friday, 3 November 2023

Survivor Update: Week 6


 

We pick back up with Belo after Brando’s untimely end.  Lifeline Kendra is eager to work with the people who just tossed him as she openly wonders if these four can go further in the game (Points for “Reference in this game” to Marissa!). Of course, she says that. What else is she going to say? “You’re all dead to me”?  Privately, she wants revenge on Emily and feels Survivor is a perfect place for Karma because like…she’s like…a Libra…you know? And like..that means….Ugh. Between her eyes and her hyper-ness, I’m beginning to root against her.  Just too much. Sorry, Marissa!

 At Lulu, everyone is Idol hunting but it’s BRUUUUUUUCE who finds the Beware advantage! (Finding the Beware is a non-scoring category this year, to be added next year). Right after he finds it, a boat arrives, and tribes are going to be merged. Everyone has a few minutes to gather their stuff. It’s time to DROP YOUR BUFFS!  The whole tribe helps BRUUUUUUCE keep Katurah at bay while he frantically digs until he scores! (Points for “Find a hidden immunity idol” to me!)

 Everyone on the other tribes seems happy except Dee who has a permanent scowl.  I suspect she’s the person in your life who always finds something to be upset over.  As the tribes merge, Kaleb is happy to be in the game with his #1, Emily (Points for “Reference in this game” to Roberta!). Crazy eyes Kendra freaks out at the idea of food and while BRUUUUUUCE is building/directing the new shelter, Katurah scoffs at how “BRUUUUUUCE is out there Brucing”. While they work, Kendra dishes to BRUUUUUUCE about what happened to Brando noting how information is power in this game (Points for “Reference in this game” to Marissa!)

 Emily’s apology tour finally ends as she formally meets and apologizes to BRUUUUUUCE for calling him out on Day 1.  BRUUUUUUCE accepts the apology but keeps his knife sharp.  Austin gathers his former Reba bandmates, Napoleon Dynamite, Julie and Dee and goes off AGAIN about the god-damned sandwich, saying he wants Kellie and J. Maya out because of it.  Oh, also he wants them out because the amulet they forced him to take becomes more powerful if they go.  This may not sit well with Napoleon who likes to direct the traffic.

 The day after the merge, Kaleb and Emily solidify their final 2. I wouldn’t trust Kaleb at all but I’d definitely use him to get further. Kaleb thinks they see him as a golden retriever, but they all see him for what he is – a fox in the henhouse. BRUUUUUUCE gets angry at Kaleb flitting between people. He’s BRUUUUUUCE’s ally – why should he talk to other people?!?! Kaleb thinks that is archaic and the generational gap swallows the trust the two had built with each another.  Meanwhile, Little Papi embraces the day-after-the-merge downpour in true John Locke style.  All that’s missing is a scar across his eye.

 

 At the competition, the not-quite-merged tribes are divided into groups of 6 with Katurah drawing the short straw.  She won’t compete but chooses to suffer (or gain) the results of the Blue team. The teams are:

Blue: Little Papi, Napoleon Dynamite, BRUUUUUCE, Austin, Julie and Crazy Eyes Kendra

Red: Kaleb, J. Maya, Jake (your cousin from Boston), Dee, Emily and Kellie

 Blue takes a quick lead diving through the mud as J. Maya’s hair gets tangled in the rope but Red makes up some time with Napoleon giving himself a wedgie while bouncing down the rope ladder.  THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT ON SURVIVOR!  Napoleon and Auston quickly put the puzzle together while Crazy Eyes Kendra solves the phrase in a heartbeat.  Blue wins immunity and reward! (Points for “Tribe Immunity win” and “Tribe reward win” to Carol, Jay, Dalphyne and yours truly!). They’re going to the Sanctuary. Red’s going home hungry.

 At lunch, they eat with completely covered in dried mud with their hands which can’t possibly be sanitary.  Little Papi throws J. Maya out as a target which is completely fair – all the ex-Reba women want him gone. Julie deflects, throwing out Kaleb and Emily which Crazy Eyes agrees to.  There’s only room for one set of crazy eyes on the merged tribe, and Kendra says it’s her!  Katurah doesn’t understand why ex-Belo is ok with Kaleb as a target.  Her BRUUUUUCE hatred has blinded her.

 Back at camp, everyone takes an ocean bath. J. Maya thinks Emily and Kaleb are good targets. She pitches it to Dee who nods yes but privately tells both Jake and Kaleb she wants J. Maya out.  They’re surprised but fine with it, as is Kellie whose amulet gets upgraded if J. Maya goes.

 As the winners return and go bathe the losers wait impatiently.  Katurah gets Kendra on board with J. Maya but BRUUUUCE isn’t voting anyone but Kaleb.  The old man convinces Austin and Napoleon that Kaleb is the bigger threat. Napoleon then gets Sifu and Auston on board, leaving Austin to comment AGAIN about the sandwich.  Oh, for god’s sake, Austin!  He’s worse than the “I WANT MY $2!” kid from Better Off Dead! He may be a little obsessive over food, but he isn’t an idiot. He knows if the vote is big against someone, he can sacrifice his vote again to fill out his immunity idol’s power.  When Emily hears her #1 is a target, she tries to swing the vote away from him, but she can’t push too hard, or it’ll blow back on her.  She finishes this round of “Who’s it gonna be” telling her #1 Kaleb he needs to play his shot in the dark.

 At tribal, Jeff probes (ha ha ha) at what it’s like when the tribes merge. Napoleon “a lot of oversharing”.  Did Emily and BRUUUUUUCE bury the hatchet? “We’ll see if he writes my name down”, Emily says. “How do you spell it?”, BRUUUUUCE replies sarcastically.  “How do you spell your name” is my single favorite Survivor joke. Kaleb says he’s not the biggest strategic threat out here, leading Little Papi to knock him out of the park by saying “If it’s not you, who is it?”.  That’s a 474-foot bomb blowing up Kaleb’s game to straight away center field right there.  Kaleb names The Coven of Julie, Dee and J. Maya as more dangerous.  Dee, naturally, huffs at the thought until Kaleb reminds her that she threw his name out first.  J. Maya can’t believe anyone is thinking of voting for her over Kaleb while Napoleon thinks these are big swings but whether they are homers or strikeouts remains to be seen. Indeed.

 At the vote, Kaleb calls out J. Maya’s leading J. to near tears.  Austin, wisely noting that he’s nowhere near being a target, chooses to sacrifice his vote. (Another non-scoring category I’ll add next year).  Before he reads the votes, Jeff notes that Kaleb heeds Emily’s warning and plays his shot in the dark which has only worked once and…IT WORKS FOR THE 2nd TIME EVER! (Points for “Play shot in the dark” to Roberta!). He reads the votes – it’s 11-0 against Kaleb but none of them count! (Points for “Received vote against” to Roberta!). They will revote. Kaleb is safe and in absolute shock

 

 The politicking begins and quickly ends with J. Maya trying to marshal votes against Emily while Emily pushes people toward J. Maya.  At the revote, it’s J. Maya who receives all 10 votes (Points for “Received vote against” to nobody!) and (Points deducted for “The tribe has spoken” against nobody!).

 


Thou art now Merged! Enjoy going back to camp tonight.  Yeah. Sure!

Huge vote totals lead to big changes in what’s been an otherwise quiet scoreboard. On the strength of Kaleb’s near-demise, newcomer Roberta rockets to the top of the leaderboard leaving Jen in 2nd while Marissa plays stalking horse in 3rd. Jay drops from 3rd to 6th, Carol from 2nd to 4th and Ricky 2nd to 5th while Dalphyne and I move out of the cellar, leaving room for Brian and Kristyn to take the space in the current scores:

  1. Roberta: 23
  2. Jen: 20
  3. Marissa: 15
  4. Carol: 14
  5. Scott, Dalphyne, Ricky: 12
  6. Jay: 11
  7. Brian, Kristyn: 10

View the scoresheet here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1o3xil1TASvf7OwAttqr8cBDm9gLCtvX2/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=103598532985683889571&rtpof=true&sd=true

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