Survivor 46 Update - Finale

 

 It. Is. TIME!  Time to separate the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys, the awkwardly feminine to the possibly Canadian (5 points in the next game if you get the reference. No Google!).  Ladies and gentlemen, let us reveal the greatest happening in reality-fantasy:  The finale and results of Survivor 46!  Heading into the final night, Kristyn has a slim 7-point lead over Jay, 19 over Ricky and 24 over Carol.  Dalphyne is 40 points off the pace, but with Finale Night scoring she’s still in the mix!

 We pick up at Camp following the final demise of the Martyr, as Charlie and Maria work their issues out through the liar’s dance. She claims the others made her vote for him, which I found odd as none of them voted for Charlie.  If I’m Charlie, my response is “Are you saying they made you vote for me and then didn’t vote for me themselves?”.  That makes no sense at all, Maria!   (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Carol!)

 At the first immunity and reward challenge, they have to go through an obstacle course, use a rope to drop a bridge, get a key to unlock and finish a puzzle.  The obstacle course looks awful, but Charlie and Maria make it look easy.  They all get to the puzzle, but Liz forgot her key and has to go back.  Attention to detail isn’t her strong suit, I suppose.  Seeing Kenzie in a tight race with Maria, Liz chooses to stop working on her own puzzle to help Kenzie.  Carol cries “CHEATER!” but Jeff let it go so it’s legal, I suppose.  With her help, Kenzie pulls out immunity and chooses Ben to go with her on reward.  (8 points each for “Win individual immunity” and “Win individual reward” to Marissa!), (3 points for “Chosen to go on reward by someone else” to Dalphyne!).  Maria is ticked off, but she’s not as angry as Carol who’s simmering with enough rage to make me wonder if she’s got $1,000,000 on the line!

  At the Sanctuary, they’re eating while still covered in mud.  WTF?  The ocean is RIGHT THERE!  

 

 Personal disgust aside, they both see Maria as the top threat and Kenzie is near tears at the idea of being in the final four.

 At camp, Maria goes idol hunting to get away from Liz but we never see if she finds one. She thinks Charlie will work with her, but I wouldn’t trust it.  She knows she’s in deep trouble and tries to spin Ben as the biggest danger in camp.  This is a mistake on two levels.  First, everyone knows Ben is the least likely to win. Second, she was already pushing the remaining players against Charlie.  He’s not safe either, and he’s just as likely to win any competition as she is.  If she’s going to turn anyone away from her, it’s gotta be toward Charlie.   Kenzie doesn’t buy the turn, of course, because she’s not naïve.  So why does the self-proclaimed Survivor superstar Liz?  (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Kristyn!). 

 At tribal, Maria claims Liz and Kenzie teaming up didn’t bother her.  That’s a lie, and Carol is still aggravated about it.  Kenzie pulls no punches saying she can kick our ass in this game but she’s definitely voting Maria tonight (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Marissa!).  Liz keeps her cards close, not saying who she’ll vote for but it’s hard to believe she’s voting anyone but Maria. Competitors know how to win and lose, Maria says, as she talks about her upbringing and wants to show her kids how to act with grace (1 point for “Mention lifestyle, race or culture” to Kristyn!). At the vote, she doesn’t have an idol and is voted out 4-1, with Ben getting her vote.  Everyone claps as she exits, a class act.  (4 points for “Received vote against”, -2 points for  “The tribe has spoken”, 2 points for “Jury member” to Carol!) 

 Back at camp, the final four cheer themselves while questioning whether it’s better to win immunity or not (spoiler alert: it is).  Charlie and Ben are a funny duo, recalling their Dumb and Dumber alliance.  It doesn’t feel to me like they actually worked together but they did make it to the final four.  Meanwhile, Liz laments not being able to practice fire more as her hands cramp due to physical problems.  Here’s a visual interpretation of my reaction when she claimed she’s the main target: 

 At the final immunity challenge, they have to solve a simple Survivor logo puzzle but there’s a twist (of course).  They are also playing Plinko on a huge pinball machine while solving the puzzle.  They have to throw the ball up, go work on the puzzle, and catch the ball before it falls into the rails below.  If it does, they have to wait as it….slooooowly….work….its….way….down.  Charlie is the first to wait, but he’s still not that far behind.  Liz and Kenzie both drop and it’s clear that slow and steady beats rushing, as Ben doesn’t drop and takes home his first victory of the season.  (8 points for “Win individual immunity” to Dalphyne!). He’s in the final three, and must decide who goes with him. Since he’s really bonded with both Charlie and Kenzie, it’s clear that Liz will be making fire. The only question is who she will compete against.

 Ben considers who might need the money more than others, which is a dig at both Liz and Charlie who are both well-off.  Liz breaks down knowing she’s lost because she can’t make fire.  Ben told Liz he can’t beat her at the end “which is obvious” (direct Liz quote).  As an aside, does this cast have the highest percentage of absolute lunatics ever?  Between Jelinsky, Bhanu, the Martyr, and Liz it seems like every week I’m saying “X is delusional”.  Anyway, Liz is delusional but she may have a chance as Kenzie can’t seem to make fire in practice.   Billy Joel said it best:  Well, here you are, in the ninth. Two men out and three men on. Nowhere to look, but inside. Where we all respond to pressure!

 At tribal, Ben talks about how he hasn’t been able to sleep while Liz tells the jury how she fell apart after being told she’s making fire.  She’s not thinking at all.  Ben is in tears talking about how Kenzie has helped him through and Charlie has been such a good friend.  He chooses Charlie to go with him, while Kenzie and Liz will make fire.  (Note: being chosen to go to final 3 and being chosen to make fire are not scoring categories this year. I’m adding them next year).

 At the fire making challenge, Liz goes directly for flame while Kenzie, despite feeling the pressure, takes her time prepping.   When Kenzie has a small flame going, Charlie reminds her to “start putting the little sticks in”, to which Liz responds 

 I guess helping someone else win a challenge is only ok if Liz does it? She’s been reacting emotionally for days, snapping at the Martyr when she wasn’t chosen for reward, telling Ben it’s obvious she’d beat him, now this. Liz is completely spent. I guess 26 days of not eating will do that.  Maybe she should’ve taken some Ozempic before she came to Fiji.  Good way to keep the appetite down!   Kenzie soon has a roaring flame going and dispatches Liz in the fire-making challenge. (10 points for “Win fire making challenge” to Marissa!). She’s overwhelmed and proud of herself and it’s adorable.  Meanwhile, Liz’s big takeaway is that she thinks she’d have beaten all of them at the Final 3.  Like I said, delusional.

 We get some jury points in the review portion as Tevin, Venus, Tiffany and the Martyr all reflect on how the jury truly owns the game.  Yeah. Ok.  Ask the remaining players if they want to become game owners. You can all guess what they'd say.  (1 point each for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Brian and me), (2 points for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Jay!). 

 At the final tribal, Ben struggles to talk about how what he did changed the game and that’s because he didn’t do anything to change it.  The perils of playing under the radar. Charlie tries to take credit for getting Hunter out, but Hunter says it was Kenzie who told him he was safe.  Red flag on the field!  The play is being challenged!  On replay, the ruling on the field stands,  Kenzie is the one who convinced Hunter not to play his idol. 

 Tiffany and the Martyr begin arguing about the Tim vote, as Venus asks Charlie to talk about a mistake he made that he flipped to his advantage.  Charlie says that voting Venus was a mistake but it got him into The Six alliance.  The jury laughs, noting that The Six alliance could be renamed to “The Jury”.  Soda reminds us that she’s also bitter when she tells us that her main takeaways from the jury questions are Ben had no agency, Charlie played the middle but didn’t set himself apart from Maria and Kenzie spent time waiting for people to tell her how to vote.  Unlikeable to the last.

 The final question comes from the Martyr who asks what they’d do with the money if they won.  I hate this question. It’s not about the game.  The winner should be the person who played the best, not the person in the final three who needs it most.  This is my hill, and I’ll die on it.  Kenzie has the best answer, telling the story about how everything else she does is for others, she doesn’t charge people to operate in her shop etc…and she doesn’t make money. This would be for her.

 At the vote, we finally recognize that there are 8 voters meaning a tie is possible.  It’s 3-3-0 (Charlie, Kenzie, Ben) as the votes are read.  Kenzie pulls out the final two votes and takes home the title of Sole Survivor!  (35 points for “Winner” to Marissa!), (20 points for “2^nd place” to Kristyn!), and (15 points for “3^rd place” to Dalphyne!)

 A show of hands on the post-vote panel shows that Maria DIDN’T VOTE FOR CHARLIE to which the witty Carol noted “I guess Uncle Charlie’s visit is cancelled”.  Indeed.

 So here we are, at the important part of the update.  WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR US????

 I’ll start by listing the also-rans: 

• Jen
• Roberta
• Scott:
• Brian
• Jay

 Yes, yes. Very sad. On to the living!

 Ricky drops from 3^rd to 6^th thanks to Liz being Liz.  Carol got some points out of Maria but it wasn’t enough to keep her in play, as she drops from 4^th to 5^th.  On the back of Kenzie’s immunity, reward, fire making and ultimate victory, Marissa took a huge jump from 7^th but that hill was just too high to climb, as she lands in 4^th.  Dalphyne also took a huge leap from 5^th landing in 3^rd place thanks to Ben’s immunity victory and 3^rd overall finish.  With no one in the fight, Jay only gained a couple of points meaning…..

 CONGRATULATIONS KRISTYN ON ONCE AGAIN BECOMING OUR SURVIVOR CHAMPION! 

This is Kristyn’s 5^th overall victory.  When asked for her secrets, Kristyn replied “I haven’t the slightest idea”.  Thanks for the advice, Champ!

 Final standings:

1. Kristyn: 120
2. Jay: 99
3. Dalphyne: 95
4. Marissa: 91
5. Carol: 87
6. Ricky: 86
7. Brian: 54
8. Scott: 49
9. Roberta: 47
10. Jen: 41

 

That’s a wrap for this season.  See you all in July for Big Brother!

Survivor Update - Week 11

 

 

 We return to camp with Venus’ insane, and ultimately pointless, scheming gone and even the Martyr comes down from his cross to celebrate.   Ben admits to voting Kenzie by mistake, which has to be a first, and she believes him which also has to be a first.  Ben wakes to night terrors and Kenzie is really sweet to him.  She’s easy to root for (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Dalphyne!). The next morning, Liz announces that she’s finally gone to the bathroom and is now ready to turn this game up to 11.

 

 

(1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Ricky!)

 Meanwhile, Charlie sees himself being able to swing between Maria and the Martyr, or with Ben and Kenzie.  He’s completely discounted Liz, I guess.  (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Kristyn!).

 At the reward challenge, they have to race over obstacles, collecting balls, cross a ladder bridge, and land their balls in a labyrinth maze, with the lure of Chinese food at the Sanctuary as the prize.  Charlie, Maria and the Martyr take early leads as Ben, Liz and Kenzie struggle to catch up.  They all make it to the labyrinth, which takes time to learn.  Eventually, it’s Charlie who sinks his ball first winning reward!  (8 points for “Win individual reward” to Kristyn!).  We all know he will get to choose two people, which is a difficult decision at this point, but Jeff makes that decision even tougher by telling them they get letters from home.  I suspect Charlie already knew who he was taking, but after some “struggle” he chooses Liz and Kenzie to go with him.  (3 points each for “Chosen to go on reward by someone else” to Ricky and Marissa!)

 At the Sanctuary, Liz is ecstatic and everyone’s letters bring predictable tears. We find out from Kenzie that 1) she’s engaged, 2) she moved her wedding date to be on Survivor and 3) At home, she’s a perfectionist and control freak.  We haven’t seen that side of her AT ALL.  Even more credit to the game she’s playing.  Charlie’s family apparently read the rules and told him to play to win. There ya go, fam!  They talk a bit of strategy, correctly identifying Maria as a bigger threat than Q.

 Back at camp, Maria tells us she and Charlie had agreed not to take each other on reward but missing out on letters really hurt.  She cries for quite a while until they all decide to go idol hunting for “Tiffany’s” idol which she didn’t play, and then Venus had and didn’t play. After some searching, and complaining that he’s looked unsuccessfully for days, The Martyr finally discovers it buried in a tree stump. (5 points for “Find hidden immunity idol” to Jay!).  His big question is whether to tell Maria or not, but my big question is “WILL HE PLAY THE DAMNED THING????”  Let’s put a pin in that, k?  After some conversation with Maria, he decides to play it for her if he wins immunity or for himself if anyone else does.  Stop me if this sounds familiar.

 The look you have when you realize you're not smarter than the room.

 Maria has a blind spot about Charlie teaming with Liz and Kenzie, which could easily become a blind spot, and suggests going after Charlie which the Martyr is all for.  Charlie and Maria make up back at camp because the bond they formed will go beyond the game (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Carol!). Charlie again references them as a modern-day Malcom and Denise (5 points for “Bring up a previous season’s player” to Kristyn!)  and doesn’t think Maria will blindside him.  Both of their offense game (willingness to blindside, turn) is top notch but their defensive games (seeing vulnerabilities) are lacking.

 At the immunity challenge they have to climb a tower, go over obstacles and solve a puzzle. Charlie and Q jump out to a quick lead but Maria catches them in stage 2 while Jeff calls out Kenzie for being in dead last (3 points for “Jeff says something negative about you in a challenge” to Marissa!). At the puzzle, they’re all cheating off each other but Maria absolutely destroys it and takes home her 3^rd win! (8 points for “Win individual immunity” to Carol!).

 Back at camp, Charlie and the Martyr are the targets, with Maria rounding up the troops against Charlie.  The question is, who do Ben, Kenzie and Liz want to play with more? Charlie or the Martyr?  Charlie is worried that leaving Maria out of his vote might hurt his relationship at this late stage so he mistakenly decides to bring her in.  It doesn’t matter if he knew about the idol or not (he doesn’t).  He knows how tight Maria is with the Martyr.  Bringing her in invites problems.  It’s a moment to shut up, but Charlie tells her.  This is the moment true allies would share about the idol but she doesn’t. 

 The face you make when you end your game?

 It’s high-level gameplay on her part, and now that she knows Charlie’s after him, she’ll tell the Martyr to definitely play his idol right? Right?  RIGHT?!?!?!? 

 At tribal, Kenzie tells us the letters gave her the fuel she needed to continue (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Marissa!)  and jokes about how Ben wrote her name down by mistake, which Jeff can’t believe any more than I can, and notes that “Venus doesn’t start with a K”, drawing eye-daggers from the recently departed.

 

 Meanwhile, everyone talks about how the votes are more delicate now.  Charlie shares that “if you tell the wrong person the wrong thing, it’s easy for them to flip it”.  I’m not sure if there’s a phrase for unintentionally speaking a truth about yourself without knowing it, but yeesh….Charlie just did it.  Karma is a fit if you squint hard enough, but it’s not quite right. 

 This vote clearly hinges on whether the Martyr play his idol or not.  Ensuring we know the idol is all that matters, they show everyone’s votes as they’re cast for the first time in my memory.  Ben, Liz and Kenzie side with Charlie to vote for the Martyr while he and Maria vote Charlie. 

 Jeff asks if anyone wants to play idols or advantages….

 AND FOR THE FOURTH STRAIGHT WEEK, THE TARGET LEAVES THE DAMN THING IN THEIR POCKET!

 I am in complete shock here.  Absolute, stunned shock.  Each and every one of them had the idol.  Hunter, Venus and now the Martyr, said they were going to  play it and then chose not to DESPITE KNOWING THEY WERE TARGETS. They’re so busy meta-gaming that they forgot to ACTUALLY GAME IT. I genuinely wish they had the live finale several months later so Jeff could question them on this. 

 Anyway

 The Martyr, like Hunter, Tiffany and Venus before him is voted out with an idol in his pocket (2 points for “Received vote against” to Jay!), (4 points for “Received vote against”, -2 points for "The Tribe Has Spoken”, -5 points for "Voted out with an idol in your pocket” and 2 points for "Jury Member” to Jay!). Time to climb down off the cross and shuffle off to the Jury House.

 

 

As we prepare for the finale, we have a shakeup at the top of the leaderboard! Thanks to Charlie’s challenge prowess, incessant chatter about older players, and the Martyr’s idiocy, Forever Champion Kristyn moves into the lead sporting a 19-point lead on Ricky and 24 point lead on Carol.  Marissa and Dalphyne finally showed signs of life but it’s likely too little, too late for this season.  

1. Kristyn: 104
2. Jay: 97
3. Ricky: 85
4. Carol: 80
5. Dalphyne: 63
6. Brian: 53
7. Marissa: 49
8. Scott: 48
9. Roberta: 47
10. Jen: 41

Survivor Update - Week 10

 

We pick up after Maria steamrolled Tiffany into the jury where Kenzie doesn’t understand why she was left out of the vote.  Could it be because she wasn’t voting Tiffany and Maria followed Rule #4, and chose not to tell her fearing she’d tell Tiffany who’d then play her idol?  Mostly, she’s just ticked that someone else is getting the credit.  Maria is more than happy to move forward with Liz, the Martyr, Ben and Charlie to the final 5, while Venus wants Kenzie to help her break up the Siga 3.

 Knowing the idol is back in play, sends everyone off hunting in the forest. In her vignette, Venus is unhappy she was on the wrong side of the vote (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Scott!) but that frown’s quickly turned upside-down as she finds the idol!  (5 points for “Find hidden immunity idol” to Scott!).  She spends some more time fake-searching with Kenzie to make it look good but tells us she’ll never say anything about the idol to anyone. THAT’S MY GIRL!  Presumably, Liz wouldn’t be pissed about this event because she chose to sleep in.

Where's Waldo?

Back at camp, Charlie and Maria congratulate themselves on the Tiffany blindside, but Charlie sees it as a double-edged sword since she’s now a huge target (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Kristyn!) .  Maria sees the Martryas a useful for one more vote but Charlie would rather get him out now.

 Meanwhile, Liz tells Kenzie about Maria’s final five chat and sees Maria as the target, which Venus is all for as well. They need one more and they mistakenly go for Charlie. I think he’d do it, but he’s not there yet.

 At the immunity and reward challenge, Jeff notes we are down to the final several (Long Live Jelinsky!). They have to balance a ball on a pole through a maze and then down a snake maze. I’m actively rooting for the Martyr here, hoping he won’t take Liz again. I have nothing against Liz but she’d probably explode again and, as we all know, I’m here for the chaos.  Ben and Maria lead after the first stage, but Charlie passes them in the 2^nd section.   Ben cannot seem to get past the second stage. At the final maze, as Maria drops the first of her two balls, Ben finally finishes the second stage leading Jeff to call him out for fighting on. (10 points for “That’s how you do it on Survivor!” to Dalphyne!).  Along with Venus, Ben catches up to Maria sinking their first ball.  It’s so tense that Carol can’t watch Maria try again and again but seemingly unable to seal the deal.   Venus is right there at the end but the ball misses falling into the net by an inch!  FFS GIRL! COME ON NOW!   Maria finally puts Carol out of her misery and sinks her final ball (8 points each for “Win individual immunity” and “Win individual reward” to Carol!).  She gets to choose one person to go on reward with her.  Surely, she’ll choose Liz right?  No!  She decides to choose “the least well fed” and somehow, that’s Ben  (3 points for “Someone chose you to go on reward” to Dalphyne!). Maria can’t make the decision on who else gets to go. Charlie bows out and she still won’t choose. Maria then asks Venus, Liz and the Martyr to make their case.  Venus and Q won’t argue for it but Liz ain’t too proud to beg. She wants to take him, but doesn’t want to blow up her game with Liz. She has them play rock-paper-scissors and, well, paper covers rock (3 points for “Someone chose you to go on reward” to Jay!).  

Liz reacts predictably.

 

 At camp, everyone rags on Maria’s weak choice-making.  Kenzie still wants the Martyr gone, and Charlie agrees.  Liz knows Charlie is close with Maria, but Charlie sees “things turning in a different direction”.  Remember folks, when you’re in an alliance it’s always better to be the first one to turn.

 After the reward winners return, Kenzie tells Charlie the girls are going for the Martyr. Charlie asks Venus who her ideal final 4 is. She won’t answer, but says she has something up her sleeve (meaning the idol) and he catches it.  That’s bad news for her, and she recognizes that she messed up.  So she’ll DEFINITELY play the idol tonight right? RIGHT?  Charlie sees her cagey intractability as a huge red flag. He tells Ben who thinks she’s bullshitting.

  Jeff brings licorice to tribal and shares one piece with the tribe.  I love the new personality!  He starts with Maria’s reticence in choosing a 2^nd reward participant.  She felt both the Martyr and Liz both deserved a chance. Venus calls her out saying if she wanted to choose the least-well-fed, Liz should’ve been picked. Instead, she chose the most well-fed.  Venus and the Martyr (new band name, I called it!)  begin arguing about who Venus would’ve chosen.  After a back-and-forth worthy Larry King, we get to the vote

 

Macgyver and Tiffany have just gotten voted out with idols in their pockets.  Venus has been a target at tribal. Surely she’ll play her idol now right?  RIGHT?

 At the vote, NO IDOLS OR ADVANTAGES ARE PLAYED.  Venus is promptly voted out by a 5-1-1 vote with Q and Kenzie getting the other votes.  (1 point each for “Received vote against” to Jay and Marissa!) and (5 points for “Received vote against”, -2 points for “The Tribe Has Spoken”, 2 points for “Jury Member”, and -5 points for “Voted out with an idol in your pocket!”).   

I don’t even know what to say here.  Three straight times people have been voted out with idols in their pockets.  Tiffany was completely blindsided.  Fine.  In the other two cases, they were clearly targets.  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLAY THE GODDAMNED IDOL.   UUUUUUUUUUUUGH!

What does that mean for our game?   Jay remains in the lead with Ricky and Kristyn in striking distance. Carol made a huge leap this week thanks to Maria’s individual immunity and reward win as did Dalphyne, thanks to Jeff’s finally noticing him in a challenge.   In news from the bottom of the scoreboard, my game ends just as I have finally passed Jen who hasn’t gained a point in weeks.  Marissa finally caught Jen as well, but her game continues!

Thanks for nothing, Venus!  Enjoy Fiji, loser.

 

1. Jay: 93
2. Kristyn: 87
3. Ricky: 80
4. Carol: 71
5. Dalphyne: 61
6. Brian: 53
7. Scott: 48
8. Roberta: 47
9. Jen/Marissa: 41

Survivor Update - Week 9

 

 Following MacGyver’s eviction-despite-telling-everyone-he-has-an-idol-and-he-plans-to-play-it-and-then-doesn’t-play-it idiocy, we arrive back at camp where Liz is unhappy she was left out of the vote.  Venus says it was because it happened right before tribal but I’m not buying it and neither is Liz.Tiffany thinks the Martyr’s chaos made Hunter feel safe enough to not play his idol. 

 Maria goes to check on him because, while he has mentally checked out, she thinks he can be a number in her favor.  He knows everyone wants him gone so it’s immunity or bust!  (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Jay!).

 At the individual reward challenge, they’re playing for Applebees and Liz nearly drops dead at the sight of the burger.  She’s allergic to nearly everything but this one burger is THE THING she eats!  We see pictures of her with her daughter at Applebees as she describes their Wednesday ritual. She HAS to win OR ELSE.

 Q launches himself into an immediate lead. They may all hate him but if he wins, they’ll all be his best friend.  Tiffany pushing herself through the net earns adulation from Jeff (10 points for “That’s how you do it on Survivor!” to Brian!)  but neither she nor Liz can overcome the tremendous lead Q’s physicality earns him as he dispatches the rest of the challenge.  (8 points for “Win individual reward” to Jay!).  He gets to choose two more people and everyone assumes Liz will be one of them, but he chooses Tiffany who’s now (naturally) much more willing to hash things out and Maria because she was genuinely nice to him, checking in on him after the Hunter tribal.  Liz resorts to begging and pouting but it falls on deaf ears as the Martyr chooses Kenzie for the final spot. (3 points each for “Chosen to go on reward” to Brian, Carol and Marissa!)

Seeing how upset Liz was, Jeff probes (SWIDT?) asking if she wants to talk about how she’s feeling and boy does she ever.  

She yells. She pouts. She has a temper tantrum meltdown worthy of Veruca Salt, shouting that he blew up her whole game, overshadowed everything she wanted to do.  With the evil calmness of a manager dealing with an angry Karen, The Martyr destroys her: 

“You voted for me last night”.  

That’s the coldest line I’ve ever heard on Survivor. That line is so cold it’s deader than Liz’s game, sorry Ricky.   (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Ricky!).  I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm now rooting for Q.

 

The Martyr destroying Liz, a visual representation

At the Sanctuary, the Martyr is sorry-not-sorry for not choosing Liz, but he wants to try and rebuild the Yanu three with Kenzie and Tiff, and Maria was nice to him.  Liz never talks with him so he doesn’t feel like he owes her anything. He’s right but wow, that was COLD.  Kenzie sees him as her unhealthy boyfriend who can’t seem to keep her in his plans (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Marissa!) and despite being chosen, she has no plans to forgive him.  She’s so full she can’t even eat Liz’s dream burger when it’s served to her.  Somewhere, Liz is at home fuming.

 When the Martyr goes for a walk, Kenzie and Tiffany immediately break Rule #4 and begin trashing him to Maria. They saw her be nice to him more than once. They should know better.

 Back at camp, Liz tries to apologize and everyone sheepishly accepts as they sit in stunned silence.  I’m not sure what rattled them more: The Martyr’s cold choices, Liz’s outburst or his rationale on not choosing her.  It’s a close race.

 The winners return at sunrise and Liz doesn’t want to hear it.  No one ate her dream burger?!?!?  She feels slapped in the face and tells us “Read the room”.  Earth to Liz – everyone else is fine.  It’s YOU who needs to read the room and remember what game you’re playing!    At this point, she’s completely off-the-rails and self-absorbed.   She makes a half-hearted attempt to apologize to the Martyr as they do the Liars Dance.

 Charlie and Maria share info, the ladies want the Martyr out but he wants Venus then Liz.   They put Tiffany’s blindside on hold for now but Maria thinks they need to get rid of that idol soon. (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Carol!).  Charlie agrees, saying Tiff is the bigger threat.

 At the immunity challenge, they need to hold up a bucket tied to a rope that contains 25% of their pre-game weight.  Jeff again offers rice for four sit-outs but only Liz is interested. He then offers an individual portion for any single who wants to sit and the whole tribe tells Liz to take it. (2 points for “Volunteer to sit out a challenge” to Ricky!).  Venus drops so quickly that she should’ve taken the rice. On the bench, she tries to manifest the Martyr falling from his cross.

 

And so he does!  Venus is SO happy you’d think she was Tiffany or Kenzie. Seriously, she’s had no interaction with him that matters.  Why does she care?  Anyway, he’s DEFINITELY going home this time, right?   

 Tiffany looks as locked in as anyone I’ve ever seen play this challenge while Charlie struggles, readjusting time after time.  Jeff reminds us that sometimes people drop out of nowhere and…then Tiffany does exactly that!  (8 points for “Win individual immunity” to Kristyn!).  In his post-victory vignette, Charlie tells us he knows grip strength is a key Survivor skill and he’s been working on his for TWO YEARS!  That’s a quality tip for anyone who may want to play one of these games (he narrated while looking at Jayson). (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Kristyn!).

 Back at camp, Tiffany thinks everyone is on board for The Martyr (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Brian!)  but does that mean she can save her idol?  Maria and Kenzie both want to flush it but this tattooed redhead doll comes with a brand new feature: cold feet.  Maria sees that waiting for this light to turn green may never happen so she’s running the red light.

 Having set the Martyr up as a vote, Maria recruits both he and Ben to vote Tiff giving them four, along with Charlie.  They need one more vote to get the majority.  Of the other three, they feel Kenzie is gunshy and don’t trust Venus.  So they land on trying to convince Liz to work against Tiffany, and with the Martyr for whom she harbors a hatred rivaling Lex Luthor’s hatred of Superman.   Does Liz buy-in?  It’s definitely the right strategic move but right now, Liz’s game is in her stomach and in her feelings.

 They are missing a key piece here though – they have four votes. They don’t need a 5^th. They just need to split one person away from the other four.  Any non-Tiffany vote means the blindside works.  And if she plays her idol, it doesn’t matter if they had four or five votes anyway.

 Strategy done, they head to Tribal Council where Kenzie mistakenly sets her hair on fire.  Tracks with the rest of this game, doesn’t it?   Jeff sees the Martyr as a smokescreen for other votes but Tiffany thinks it’s different this time, which Kenzie agrees with. Ben is over the idea of the Martyr being the vote at this point and Charlie sees the eerie silence around him as scary.  Jeff keeps pushing the Martyr angle here, giving them many chances to screw up and say too much but Tiffany definitely feels confident as Tribal concludes.  If they do pull it off, it’s truly going to be a blindside. 

 At the vote, the Martyr receives three votes, Tiffany leaves her hard-earned idol in her pocket and gets the other five! Liz flipped! The blindside worked! Kenzie is SHOCKED! Tiff is SHOCKED! For such a strategic player, she made a classic blunder - she assumed she was safe. Brian is surely shocked as his game comes to a premature end  (3 points for “Received vote against” to Jayson!) , (5 points for “Received vote against”, -2 points for “The Tribe Has Spoken”, -5 points for “Voted out with an idol in your pocket” and 2 points for “Jury Member” to Brian!)

 

So how does this shocking blindside impact our game?  WE HAVE A NEW LEADER as The Martyr’s role as tribal centerpiece earns Jay 13 points and the lead!  Kristyn falls to 2nd, despite Charlie’s immunity victory and Ricky falls to 3rd because Hunter is no longer winning everything for him. Sadly, Brian’s game took a jump forward and ended. Don’t sweat it, Brian.  You’ll have another chance soon. Big Brother is right around the corner!

1. Jay: 88
2. Kristyn: 85
3. Ricky: 79
4. Carol: 54
5. Brian: 53
6. Dalphyne/Roberta: 47
7. Jen: 41
8. Marissa: 39
9. Scott: 37

 

 

Survivor Update - Week 8

 

 

 I forgot to mention in last week’s update:  As Tevin was voted out, Jay gets Q (AKA The Martyr) as his lifeline. There are no more lifelines. From here on out, we play for keeps!

 We return to a camp united….in anger….and in believing The Martyr’s “vote me out” spiel was nonsense.  For his part, he doesn’t feel bad about it (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Jay!).  Tiffany is especially chapped at him because he announced her idol to Maria (and everyone else, by proxy).  Venus and Liz are ticked off because their big move to get Tevin out was completely overshadowed by Martyrdom. Liz reacted as you’d expect a glory hound denied to react:

 The Martyr is her #1 target. Hey Liz, the line forms behind Tiffany.  (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Ricky!)

 The next morning, Ben and Charlie see no reason to get rid of The Martyr now as it doesn’t build the resume.  Tiffany and Ben are still mad and having slept on it, they all still agree that he’s an idiot.  He plays like a non-strategic person trying to imitate a strategic person.  He makes big plans but they don’t come from the benefit of solid logic and grounding, so they all fail. 

 Meanwhile, MacGyver is a self-proclaimed idiot for being on the wrong side of the vote but Venus is happy for the chaos. That’s my girl! (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to me, myself and I!).  The irritation between the two comes to a head, when he says she’s constantly mad and unlikeable. She thinks he’s a rude meathead. Sounds like the beginning of a Survivor Rom-Com.  

You’ve Got Tree-Mail? 

There’s Something About Venus? 

No. Wait. I’ve got it.

 Not yet done wrecking his social game, MacGyver also tells the Martyr he’s out of the alliance and he should respect that decision.  Spoiler alert: he doesn’t.  (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Roberta!).  MacGyver is now done with The Martyr, Venus and Liz if you’re scoring at home (or even if you’re alone) (h/t Steve Somers [google it]).  He’s far and away the best at competitions but that social game is a mess.  If it weren’t for The Martyr, Venus, and our dear, departed Jelinsky and Bhanu he’d be at the absolute bottom.

 Tree-mail announces the next Immunity comp will be in groups of 3 and no one wants The Martyr, meaning he’s stuck with Venus and Liz. Or they’re stuck with him. Hard to say.   They’ll compete in three stages. One team will be eliminated at the end of stage 1 and 2, and the final 3 will compete against each other for individual immunity.  The other two teams are: MacGyver, Charlie, Maria and Tiffany, Kenzie, Ben. 

 He admits offering himself up as a mistake but that they made a mistake not getting rid of him.  Ok, guy.  He then tries to convince Charlie to throw the challenge (!) so they can get rid of MacGyver.  Not being a Bhanu-level dolt, Charlie doesn’t bite. Along with Maria, they’d rather work with MacGyver.

 At the immunity challenge, Tiffany says she wanted “away from the chaotic energy” that was The Martyr when Jeff asked how teams were picked, leading to a back-and-forth on why everyone hates him worthy of Jerry Springer.  In another stunner, Jeff openly predicts that everyone at home is saying The Martyr, Liz and Venus will be first out.  That’s a level of being part of the game we’ve never seen from our host, but I like it!

 MacGyver’s team makes short work of phase 1, but Kenzie’s ineptness destroys Jeff’s prediction, leading Jeff to admit he was wrong. MacGyver then finishes Phase 2 so fast he has time to go help Charlie and Maria with their portions and their threesome moves on to the final, knocking The Martyr, Venus and Liz out.  In the final, they have to hold on to a cross as long as possible and it looks REALLY uncomfortable.   Maria drops early enough for Carol to scoff at her, while MacGyver struggles and tries his best to hold on, but this time he can’t do it meaning Charlie takes home the victory. (8 points for “Win individual immunity” to Kristyn!)

 Back at camp, Kenzie kicks off the whirlwind asking if anyone wants to volunteer to go home.  Best line of the season! Kenzie wants no part of The Martyr’s pleas to stay, and pitches a Q / MacGyver blindside to Charlie, Maria and MacGyver.  She then gets Tiffany and MacGyver on board, swearing them to secrecy because that ALWAYS works.   Charlie and Maria would rather go after Tiffany, and Ben is down for that too.  Tiffany pitches MacGyver and that she’s DEFINITELY playing her idol because it's a threat, but she tells us that she doesn’t want to because it will come back into the game if she plays it and she doesn’t want MacGyver or The Martyr to get it (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Brian!).

 Ben and Maria don’t see The Martyr as a rush and would go after MacGyver despite saying they’d rather work with him, and then go after Tiffany.  Ben also pitches MacGyver to Kenzie who now thinks it’s a boring vote despite telling us she wanted to do it just a few minutes ago. For his part, MacGyver is, once again, DEFINITELY playing his idol because he’s playing to win (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Roberta!). 

 He's been so smart about the idol.  But given too much time to think, people eventually think themselves into stupidity.  MacGyver demonstrates this when he breaks Rule #1 (STFU), and tells everyone about the idol so he can “use it for more than just keeping myself safe”.  For God’s sake, man. How many dumb things can a smart man do in 24 hours?

 At tribal, Jeff whips out a cushion and some popcorn “on the off chance Tribal goes crazy again”. Tiffany and the Martyr (new band name, I called it!) go back and forth about how he tried to ruin her game talking about the idol, and she ruined his by not sticking with the alliance.   He says he’s been on the beach all day, not talking to anyone to which Ben responds “yeah, it’s been nice”.  WOW.  They do agree on one thing though:  Venus and MacGyver are the targets.  

 When asked if The Martyr is playing a “sophisticated game of crazy”, Maria says “not really”. Tribal then devolves into side conversations, none of which involve The Martyr.  

 Venus tells MacGyver that the vote is obviously The Martyr so he doesn’t need to play his idol.  He doesn’t believe this, right?  RIGHT?

 At the vote, neither Tiffany or MacGyver play their idols and I’m yelling at my TV.  Think about it this way:  Genius and Idiocy are opposites. If MacGyver had told no one about his idol and then played it, saving himself he’d be hailed as a genius, right?

 The votes come in: 4 for The Martyr, 4 for MacGyver and 1 for Ben.  (4 points for “Received vote against” to Jay and Roberta!) and (1 point for “Received vote against” to Dalphyne!)

 At the revote, the tribe smartly follows Rule #3 (Play to Win) and votes out the now-vulnerable MacGyver by a vote of 6-1 leading him to become the 3^rd member of the jury and ending Roberta’s game. Sorry Roberta!  (1 point for “Received vote against” to Jay!), (6 points for “Received vote against” to Roberta), (-2 points for “The Tribe Has Spoken” against Roberta!), (2 points for “Jury Member” to Roberta), and finally (-5 points for “Voted out with an idol in your pocket” against Roberta!)

 As great as he was at challenges, he was a beautiful idiot when it came to gameplay.

  How does this impact our game? Thanks to the Martyr never shutting up and Charlie taking home the individual immunity, Jay and Kristyn both move into a  3-way tie for first with Ricky!   Everyone else gained a point here and there but right now it’s a three-way race to the finale in the current scores: 

1. Jay / Ricky / Kristyn: 75
2. Carol: 49
3. Roberta: 47
4. Dalphyne: 46
5. Jen: 41
6. Brian: 39
7. Scott: 36
8. Marissa: 34