It. Is. TIME! Time to separate the wheat from the chaff,
the men from the boys, the awkwardly feminine to the possibly Canadian (5
points in the next game if you get the reference. No Google!). Ladies and gentlemen, let us reveal the
greatest happening in reality-fantasy:
The finale and results of Survivor 46!
Heading into the final night, Kristyn has a slim 7-point lead over Jay,
19 over Ricky and 24 over Carol. Dalphyne
is 40 points off the pace, but with Finale Night scoring she’s still in the
mix!
We pick up at Camp following the final
demise of the Martyr, as Charlie and Maria work their issues out through the
liar’s dance. She claims the others made her vote for him, which I found odd as
none of them voted for Charlie. If I’m Charlie,
my response is “Are you saying they made you vote for me and then didn’t vote
for me themselves?”. That makes no sense
at all, Maria! (1 point for “Reference
‘in this game’” to Carol!)
At the first immunity and reward challenge,
they have to go through an obstacle course, use a rope to drop a bridge, get a
key to unlock and finish a puzzle. The obstacle
course looks awful, but Charlie and Maria make it look easy. They all get to the puzzle, but Liz forgot
her key and has to go back. Attention to
detail isn’t her strong suit, I suppose.
Seeing Kenzie in a tight race with Maria, Liz chooses to stop working on
her own puzzle to help Kenzie. Carol
cries “CHEATER!” but Jeff let it go so it’s legal, I suppose. With her help, Kenzie pulls out immunity and
chooses Ben to go with her on reward. (8
points each for “Win individual immunity” and “Win individual reward” to
Marissa!), (3 points for “Chosen to go on reward by someone else” to Dalphyne!).
Maria is ticked off, but she’s not as
angry as Carol who’s simmering with enough rage to make me wonder if she’s got
$1,000,000 on the line!
At the Sanctuary, they’re eating
while still covered in mud. WTF? The ocean is RIGHT THERE!
Personal disgust aside, they both see Maria as the top threat and Kenzie is near tears at the idea of being in the final four.
At camp, Maria goes idol hunting
to get away from Liz but we never see if she finds one. She thinks Charlie will
work with her, but I wouldn’t trust it.
She knows she’s in deep trouble and tries to spin Ben as the biggest
danger in camp. This is a mistake on two
levels. First, everyone knows Ben is the
least likely to win. Second, she was already pushing the remaining players against
Charlie. He’s not safe either, and he’s
just as likely to win any competition as she is. If she’s going to turn anyone away from her,
it’s gotta be toward Charlie. Kenzie
doesn’t buy the turn, of course, because she’s not naïve. So why does the self-proclaimed Survivor
superstar Liz? (1 point for “Reference
‘in this game’” to Kristyn!).
At tribal, Maria claims Liz and
Kenzie teaming up didn’t bother her. That’s
a lie, and Carol is still aggravated about it.
Kenzie pulls no punches saying she can kick our ass in this game but she’s
definitely voting Maria tonight (1 point for “Reference ‘in this game’” to
Marissa!). Liz keeps her cards
close, not saying who she’ll vote for but it’s hard to believe she’s voting
anyone but Maria. Competitors know how to win and lose, Maria says, as she
talks about her upbringing and wants to show her kids how to act with grace (1
point for “Mention lifestyle, race or culture” to Kristyn!). At the vote, she
doesn’t have an idol and is voted out 4-1, with Ben getting her vote. Everyone claps as she exits, a class act. (4 points for “Received vote against”, -2
points for “The tribe has spoken”, 2
points for “Jury member” to Carol!)
Back at camp, the final four cheer themselves
while questioning whether it’s better to win immunity or not (spoiler alert: it
is). Charlie and Ben are a funny duo,
recalling their Dumb and Dumber alliance.
It doesn’t feel to me like they actually worked together but they did
make it to the final four. Meanwhile,
Liz laments not being able to practice fire more as her hands cramp due to physical
problems. Here’s a visual interpretation
of my reaction when she claimed she’s the main target:
At the final immunity challenge,
they have to solve a simple Survivor logo puzzle but there’s a twist (of
course). They are also playing Plinko on
a huge pinball machine while solving the puzzle. They have to throw the ball up, go work on the
puzzle, and catch the ball before it falls into the rails below. If it does, they have to wait as it….slooooowly….work….its….way….down. Charlie is the first to wait, but he’s still
not that far behind. Liz and Kenzie both
drop and it’s clear that slow and steady beats rushing, as Ben doesn’t drop and
takes home his first victory of the season.
(8 points for “Win individual immunity” to Dalphyne!). He’s in
the final three, and must decide who goes with him. Since he’s really bonded
with both Charlie and Kenzie, it’s clear that Liz will be making fire. The only
question is who she will compete against.
Ben considers who might need the money
more than others, which is a dig at both Liz and Charlie who are both well-off. Liz breaks down knowing she’s lost because she
can’t make fire. Ben told Liz he can’t
beat her at the end “which is obvious” (direct Liz quote). As an aside, does this cast have the highest
percentage of absolute lunatics ever?
Between Jelinsky, Bhanu, the Martyr, and Liz it seems like every week I’m
saying “X is delusional”. Anyway, Liz is
delusional but she may have a chance as Kenzie can’t seem to make fire in
practice. Billy Joel said it best: Well, here you are, in the ninth. Two
men out and three men on. Nowhere to look, but inside. Where we
all respond to pressure!
At tribal, Ben talks about how he
hasn’t been able to sleep while Liz tells the jury how she fell apart after
being told she’s making fire. She’s not
thinking at all. Ben is in tears talking
about how Kenzie has helped him through and Charlie has been such a good friend. He chooses Charlie to go with him, while
Kenzie and Liz will make fire. (Note:
being chosen to go to final 3 and being chosen to make fire are not scoring categories
this year. I’m adding them next year).
At the fire making challenge, Liz
goes directly for flame while Kenzie, despite feeling the pressure, takes her time prepping. When Kenzie has a small flame going,
Charlie reminds her to “start putting the little sticks in”, to which Liz responds
I guess helping
someone else win a challenge is only ok if Liz does it? She’s been reacting emotionally for days,
snapping at the Martyr when she wasn’t chosen for reward, telling Ben it’s
obvious she’d beat him, now this. Liz is completely spent. I guess 26 days of not
eating will do that. Maybe she should’ve
taken some Ozempic before she came to Fiji.
Good way to keep the appetite down!
Kenzie soon has a roaring flame
going and dispatches Liz in the fire-making challenge. (10 points for “Win
fire making challenge” to Marissa!). She’s overwhelmed and proud of herself
and it’s adorable. Meanwhile, Liz’s big
takeaway is that she thinks she’d have beaten all of them at the Final 3. Like I said, delusional.
We get some jury points in the
review portion as Tevin, Venus, Tiffany and the Martyr all reflect on how the
jury truly owns the game. Yeah. Ok. Ask the remaining players if they want to become game owners. You can all guess what they'd say. (1 point each for “Reference ‘in this game’” to
Brian and me), (2 points for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Jay!).
At the final tribal, Ben struggles
to talk about how what he did changed the game and that’s because he didn’t do
anything to change it. The perils of
playing under the radar. Charlie tries to take credit for getting Hunter out,
but Hunter says it was Kenzie who told him he was safe. Red flag on the field! The play is being challenged! On replay, the ruling on the field
stands, Kenzie is the one who convinced
Hunter not to play his idol.
Tiffany and the Martyr begin
arguing about the Tim vote, as Venus asks Charlie to talk about a mistake he
made that he flipped to his advantage.
Charlie says that voting Venus was a mistake but it got him into The Six
alliance. The jury laughs, noting that The
Six alliance could be renamed to “The Jury”. Soda reminds us that she’s also bitter when
she tells us that her main takeaways from the jury questions are Ben had no
agency, Charlie played the middle but didn’t set himself apart from Maria and
Kenzie spent time waiting for people to tell her how to vote. Unlikeable to the last.
The final question comes from the
Martyr who asks what they’d do with the money if they won. I hate this question. It’s not about the game. The winner should be the person who played
the best, not the person in the final three who needs it most. This is my hill, and I’ll die on it. Kenzie has the best answer, telling the story
about how everything else she does is for others, she doesn’t charge people to
operate in her shop etc…and she doesn’t make money. This would be for her.
At the vote, we finally recognize
that there are 8 voters meaning a tie is possible. It’s 3-3-0 (Charlie, Kenzie, Ben) as the
votes are read. Kenzie pulls out the
final two votes and takes home the title of Sole Survivor! (35 points for “Winner” to Marissa!), (20
points for “2nd place” to Kristyn!), and (15 points for “3rd
place” to Dalphyne!)
A show of hands on the post-vote
panel shows that Maria DIDN’T VOTE FOR CHARLIE to which the witty Carol noted “I
guess Uncle Charlie’s visit is cancelled”.
Indeed.
So here we are, at the important
part of the update. WHAT DOES IT MEAN
FOR US????
I’ll start by listing the also-rans:
Yes, yes. Very sad. On to the
living!
Ricky drops from 3rd to
6th thanks to Liz being Liz. Carol
got some points out of Maria but it wasn’t enough to keep her in play, as she
drops from 4th to 5th.
On the back of Kenzie’s immunity, reward, fire making and ultimate
victory, Marissa took a huge jump from 7th but that hill was just
too high to climb, as she lands in 4th. Dalphyne also took a huge leap from 5th
landing in 3rd place thanks to Ben’s immunity victory and 3rd
overall finish. With no one in the
fight, Jay only gained a couple of points meaning…..
CONGRATULATIONS KRISTYN ON ONCE
AGAIN BECOMING OUR SURVIVOR CHAMPION!
This is Kristyn’s 5th overall
victory. When asked for her secrets,
Kristyn replied “I haven’t the slightest idea”.
Thanks for the advice, Champ!
Final standings:
- Kristyn: 120
- Jay: 99
- Dalphyne: 95
- Marissa: 91
- Carol: 87
- Ricky: 86
- Brian: 54
- Scott: 49
- Roberta: 47
- Jen: 41
That’s a wrap for this
season. See you all in July for Big
Brother!
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