Survivor Update: Week 9

 Kellie’s ouster last week was the first shot in the Reba / Belo war.  Who will be the 2^nd?  Let’s have a look!

 Back at merge camp, Crazy Eyes Kendra pours one out for her first Survivor friend, Kellie while Jake laughs aloud at still being on the island. He didn’t know Kellie was the vote and it cost him his shot in the dark. Since Dr. Doom is still around, Napolean Dynamite, Julie and Dee tell him they knew Kellie was going and were protecting him. They also tell him she was going to turn on him and thought he was overbearing. He may be Doom but they’re playing him like he’s the Joker – inducing a little chaos.  Inducing For his part, Doom still can’t get over the idea that Kellie thought he was overbearing.  His eyes clear for a moment of self-reflection.  Could this change him?  Can this change doom?

  

While Kendra and Katurah console each other over Kellie, Crazy Eyes breaks rule #4 and tells Katurah she’s targeting Dee. Clearly, she’s forgotten that Katurah flipped to Reba in the Kaleb vote.  Word quickly gets back to Dee which is bad for Kendra. Dee has rabidly gone after anyone who’s said her name, forcing Reba to do her bidding more than once. Henceforth, she shall be named Queen Dee, The Tenacious!

 

Reba is strong together, and with Kellie’s ouster Austin now has two full idols.  You’ve probably heard the phrase “What if they threw a war and only one side came?”.  We’re about to see what happens.

Meanwhile, Emily approaches her shaky allies Napoleon and Austin about going after Tenacious Dee but she’s also rebuffed as the pair would rather try to flush Doom’s idol.  Their hesitance makes her rethink her alliance and makes me ask “WHEN DID SHE GET GOOD AT THIS GAME???”.  The only difference between Kendra telling Katurah and Emily telling these two is that Dee doesn’t immediately hear about Emily’s wishes…but how long can that last?

 For the upcoming challenge, they’ll need to divide themselves into three groups of three. The challenge has three stages.  Losers of stage one will lose their vote and go on a journey to try and earn it back. Winners of Stage 3 all earn reward with the overall winner taking home immunity.

 Groups are:

Red: Your cousin from Boston, Queen Dee, Napoleon Dynamite
Blue: Julie, Dr. Doom, Crazy Eyes Kendra
Yellow: Emily, Katurah, Austin

 Red and Yellow quickly dispatch of the first stage, leaving Emily, Katurah and Austin without votes.  In the 2^nd stage, they have to land balls on hoops.  It’s a tight race that ends with Kendra landing the final ball for Blue (Points for “Win tribal reward” to Jay, Jen, and Ricky!).  In the final comp, they have to extend their arms and hold discs against a plate with their fingertips and like last week, it quickly becomes a showdown between Julie and Doom.   Julie can’t outlast the everflowing will of Doom and finally falls, allowing Doom another day of safety. (Points for “Win individual immunity” to Jayson!).  

Back at camp, Napoleon Dynamite thinks Doom winning sucks and “they” might need to play “their” idols on Dee and Austin.  Weird how he feels ownership of Austin’s idols. Your Cousin From Boston is happy to go after Crazy Eyes if it’ll get him in with Dee but she’s just using him.

 At the sanctuary, Crazy Eyes Kendra the vegetarian tears into the rotisserie chicken with her bare hands.  Hunger > moral objection, I suppose. Kendra asks Julie how she feels with Reba – a loaded question given Kendra’s earlier Katurah mishap.  Julie smoothly lies, saying she’s on the bottom. She replies asking how they feel about their cousin from Boston.  Now, Julie is Reba and Reba is held together with cement.  Jake is Belo, who just lost Kellie.  You’d think Doom and Crazy Eyes would realize Jake’s a solid number for them but you’d be wrong. They flip on him in a heartbeat with Doom saying “Tribal lines are gone” and they surely are…for him.  Julie can’t believe how quickly or easily they flipped, but flip they did.

 At the journey, Emily, Katurah and Austin have to invent a math equation using addition and subtraction that makes 987654321 = 100 in 3 minutes.  Emily being a financial analyst should crush this right?  Nope. She can’t do mental math.  Neither can Katurah.  Austin can, however.  He solves it in time to win his vote back (losing / regaining votes are non-scoring categories this year. I’ll add them next year).

 Back at camp, Austin lies to the group about not having his vote only to come clean to his Reba tribemates later.  They’re going to run the table from here on out.  The only question is the order in which everyone else is voted out.  Tenacious Dee and Austin want Kendra.  Julie is still salty about your cousin from Boston writing her name down and wants him out but the Queen will have her way “we will tell them all it’s Jake and then vote Kendra”.  Royalty has spoken and Julie doesn’t like it.

 Kendra and Doom are nervous about Jake being too easy a vote with Kendra thinking she’s the true target. They bring in Emily who agrees on Jake as the vote.  When she goes back to her ersatz alliance with Napoleon Dynamite, she says Jake is the vote and he says Crazy Eyes is the vote which Emily can’t understand. Why would we vote her out? She’s a number for us (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’ to Brian!).  She sells him on Jake but sees Queen Dee running ND and Austin as problematic.  ND tries to pitch the Queen on switching to Jake but she’s not buying.  Kendra said her name. She’s not budging away from that. Whoever says her name is her target. (Points for “Reference in this game” to Roberta!)

Emily better improve her personal relations computations quickly or she’ll be next on the Queen’s chopping block.

At tribal, Kendra weeps for her first Survivor friend (Points for “Reference in this game” to Ricky!) as The Queen notes how everyone always wants to make big moves and blindsides but forgets there are real people behind those moves.  Doom notes how winning back-to-back immunity challenges is great but it paints a big target on you (Points for “Reference in this game” to Jay!) which causes Katurah’s eyes to roll so hard they almost pop out of her head.  Jeff notes that not knowing how many votes will be cast changes the math which completely shocks Kendra.  She didn’t realize that people might lie about losing or regaining votes.

 

 

At the vote, Kendra' votes for Jake but Dee forces everyone else to vote for Kendra.  She’s voted out 6-1 becoming the third member of the jury and ending Ricky’s game.  That's what you get for breaking the rules! The Queen got her way.  Again.

 

Roberta maintains a slim lead while Jay takes a big jump into 2^nd thanks to Dr. Doom’s repeated immunity wins and Kendra’s elimination means Ricky finishes at 22 points. Farewell, friend!  See that and more in the current scores:

Current scores:

1. Roberta: 32
2. Jayson: 27
3. Jen: 26
4. Carol: 24
5. Kristyn: 23
6. Ricky: 22
7. Marissa: 20
8. Dalphyne: 19
9. Scott: 14
10. Brian: 13

Survivor Update: Week 8

 

Survivor update:

We’re playing without a net from here on out so someone’s game ends here.  In the real game, Kaleb was the obvious choice and he’s gone. Who’s next? The way they fear Dr. Doom’s idol reminds me of a quote about the difference between horror and terror: Horror is looking into your rearview mirror and seeing a wasp in the car.  Terror is looking again and not seeing it.  They can’t stand him but he’s unpredictable and so they fear him. It feels like a 10-way tie for 3^rd.   Let’s see how it went!

Back at camp, Napoleon Dynamite is happy Emily is back on the same page and that he made jury, but sad he sent Lil Papi to the locker room. Mostly, though he hated giving Doom a victory.  Jake, your cousin from Boston, regrets voting for Julie (mostly because it didn’t work) and Doom can’t believe he strayed.  He jokingly tries to smooth things over with Julie saying “that it’s just a game” right? (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Carol!) Let me know how you feel when you see your name written down, she replies.  Yowza. She’s not forgetting that any time soon.

In the camp, the girls are all together while the guys are at the beach and Dee proposes the seasonal “all-girls alliance” saying they have a 6-4 advantage, and the guys are surely talking about them.  For their part the remaining four guys are talking about Sanctuary Tacos and Guacamole.

A ship comes in and notifies the castaways that there are 40 tubes scattered in the jungle containing random amounts of money.  Whatever they collect can be spent at the iconic return of the Survivor Auction!  Everyone races into the jungle…except Doom.  Watching him lazily look makes Katurah happy and prompts The Quotable Carol to remark “He must be terrible at Easter morning.  Indeed!

At the auction, Jeff announces there are no advantages or idols for bid.  And to entice bidding, there will be a random number of bids and the person with the most amount of money remaining loses their vote at tribal council. 

Crazy Eyes Kendra, Kellie, Emily, and Dee quickly spend almost or all of their money on various deliciousness.  Katurah bids on a hidden item and is then given the Let’s Make a Deal option to choose one of the other covered options. She keeps the first one and it’s fisheyes.  She turns it down, and Austin buys it and eats it like a donut and it’s GROOOOOSSSSSSSSSSS.  Austin then bags a piece of pepperoni pizza while Julie wins a toothbrush, toothpaste and mouthwash.  Jake wins a chocolate cake and gets to choose two people with whom to share it. He chooses Doom (in more ways than one) and tries to get back into Julie’s good graces by choosing her.  In the end, it’s Bruce and his tiny bit of money who has the most left, losing his vote. (Note: No scoring for buying rewards at the auction.  I’ll add it as a category along with losing your vote next year)

Back at camp, Emily tells us she likes working with women (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’ to Brian!) but she likes Napoleon Dynamite and Austin more and tells them Jake and Doom are the targets.

At the immunity comp, Jeff offers them a big bag of rice if four people sit out.  As they play Mexican standoff, Jeff creates some urgency by slitting the bag of rice with a knife.  Four sit-outs quickly appear! Now that’s how you spur action!  In the comp they must hold up a pole of 1/3 their personal weight.  Everyone passes the first three stages until Kellie can’t make the transition to the fourth.  In the end, it’s Julie vs. Dr. Doom in an old-person’s showdown that ends when Julie finally gives in giving Doom individual immunity.  (Points for “Win Individual Immunity” to Jayson!)

Back at camp, everyone pretends to be happy about Doom’s victory. Kellie’s ball and chain will be around forever as they shift the target to Your Cousin From Boston but in a semi-transparent attempt to save him, Emily notes that Doom might play his idol for Jake.  Sorry lady, Doom is here for one reason:  Doom. Kellie worries that she might be the new target since she’s Doom’s reluctant #1.  Emily and Kellie try to force Jake into choosing another target but he’s gun-shy after what happened with Julie and he goes idol hunting. Did he find one? We don’t know.

Emily, who’s suddenly learned how to play this game, builds on her earlier “Bruce may play his idol for Jake” story by suggesting they can avoid the problem entirely by going after Kellie.  That’s a surprisingly high level of game play for someone who was all-but-insane just a few short days ago. Julie’s still hot to vote Jake but Napoleon Dynamite is open to “anyone but me”.

At Tribal, they’re bitter at how Jeff forced the rice decision but he doesn’t like being predictable.  Jake thinks the sit-outs aren’t altruists, they’re just comfortable and they shouldn’t be. Then he starts rambling about being on the bottom, taking a swing and missing, and we’re wondering if he’s going to pass out right there at tribal but he keeps it together.  Kellie and Dee agree, with the latter saying she’s sure the vote’s going 100% the way she wants. Katurah notices this as making people on the bottom nervous and rallying them to his side. He is, and it’s working.  Then he drops “If I play my idol…” to create some chaos.  Despite likely being Boston Red Sox fan scum, he’s quickly becoming a favorite of mine.

At the vote,  Jake played his shot in the dark (Points for “Play shot in the dark” to Carol!)  hoping for a Kaleb-esque miracle but it isn’t to be. He’s not safe but it doesn’t matter! As the votes are read, it’s Kellie who’s voted out by a 6-3 vote with Jake getting the other three (Points for “Received vote against” to Carol and Kristyn!), (Points for “Jury Member” to Kristyn!) and (Points deducted for “The Tribe Has Spoken” against Kristyn!).  Kellie’s jaw almost hits the floor as she’s sent to Jury while Jake says “Now they’re playing smart and he’s right.  Everyone is absolutely in shock.  Emily apologizes to Kellie and she’s agape.  How in the world did Emily start running this game?

That tribal was a stunner and despite liking Kellie, I like a good blindside even more and baby that was a quality blindside!  

Roberta holds her lead over Jen while Carol took a jump up thanks to Jake’s play and Kristyn jumps into 3^rd on the strength of Kellie’s votes but her game will end there.  Farewell, former champ! Maybe next year!  Everyone else stays pretty steady in the current scores:

1. Roberta: 29
2. Jen: 24
3. Kristyn: 23
4. Carol: 22
5. Jay/Marissa: 19
6. Ricky/Dalphyne: 14
7. Scott: 13
8. Brian: 12

Survivor Update: Week 7

 

Survivor thrives on switching things up, so just when players think their alliances are solid, they’re forced apart.  Kaleb was a unanimous vote, saved by a 16% miracle. Can he use the extra time his Shot-in-the-dark bought him to save his game?

 We return to the merge camp and Kaleb thinks he received the most votes ever against a player at a single Tribal and Google says he is correct – he broke the record previously held by Kelly Wentworth! Bruce and Katurah spit thinly veiled venom at each other on why they each voted Kaleb, but Katurah wants Kaleb to know she’s really in his corner.  Writing his name down is an odd way to show it. 

 Kellie and Kendra also want to replace Bruce with Kaleb (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’ to Kristyn!) and Emily feels bad about voting for Kaleb but she has to protect her own position.  She resolidifies her position with Austin, who wonders aloud to us if anyone caught the votes were one short because he sacrificed his vote. If they did, we don’t see it.  I suspect it got lost in the chaos of Kaleb’s miracle, which is perfect for Austin, who now has a full hidden immunity idol (Points for “Find hidden immunity idol” to Marissa!).

 Jake, your cousin from Boston, wants Kaleb to mend fences with Bruce so they can work as a group (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’ to Carol!).  Bruce has a Dr. Doom sized ego (Google it) and believes the unanimous vote humbled the salesman.  Bruce henceforth shall be known as Dr. Doom.

 

 For his part, Kaleb thinks Doom is an overbearing parent.  If Jake thinks it’s possible for these two to mend fences, he’s sadly mistaken.  Kellie is Doom’s self-proclaimed #1 ally, and she can’t stand him. She tries to get through to Doom but he’s so focused on his own intensity (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’ to Jayson!) that Kellie laments to us how difficult he makes the game.  Those aren’t the words of a solid ally.   She talks with Jake about shanking Doom but the Bostonian still wants all-hands ready for the upcoming war with Reba.

 

At the immunity and reward challenge it’s “Hold on to the pole as long as you can”, and it’s DOUBLE EVICTION NIGHT, BABY!  Two teams of six determined by random draw with each going to a separate tribal council, two winners of individual immunity while the overall winner takes their team to the Sanctuary for tacos Mmmmmm….Tacos….

 

 Sorry, got sidetracked there.  Back to the action.  Losers will go back to Lulu beach where there is nothing at all! 

The Red team is: Your cousin from Boston, Dee, Austin, Julie, Kaleb and Katurah
The Blue team is: Dr. Doom, Lil Papi, Crazy Eyes Kendra, Kellie, Emily and Napoleon Dynamite

 This challenge is all about strength-to-weight ratio as Emily, Julie, Crazy Eyes and The Bostonian are quickly out.  Lil Papi and Dr. Doom fall soon after leaving Kellie to battle Napoleon Dynamite for individual immunity. With a “Gosh”, Napoleon falls leaving Kellie the first winner (Points for “Win individual immunity” to Kristyn!). after Katurah falls, Dee wins the 2^nd immunity (Points for “Win individual immunity to nobody!) and it comes down to Dee vs. Kellie for team reward.

 

Or 17 minutes in Survivor time, Kellie finally drops giving Red some tacos (Points for “Win team reward challenge” to  Marissa, Carol, Jen, Roberta, and Dalphyne!) . Kellie has to be the most dejected winner of individual immunity I’ve ever seen while Dee smirks at how her freaky Beast from the X-Men toes helped her win the challenge.

 

 At the Sanctuary, Julie thinks Kaleb should be the target again but Jake wants him to stay.  Austin doesn’t want Kaleb to go but Dee wants him to go and “she is in a position of power” leaving me to wonder…how is that, exactly? She’s safe tonight, that’s all. She has no real “power”.   Dee wants him on her side “because he knows what will happen if he goes against us”. She’s super aggressive and your cousin from Boston doesn’t like being told how to vote. He can’t go after Dee tonight but he can neuter her by taking out Julie. 

 To prevent Austin from getting Katurah on his side, Kaleb decides to tell her about Bruce’s idol and how they hid it from her.  He figures along with Jake, she is the 3^rd vote he needs to stay and Jake’s sure he can convince Austin to come his way if there’s a 3-3 tie (Julie/Kaleb) and a revote.  They agree to Jake’s plan to go after Julie and Katurah is sold but when Jake breaks Rule#4:  Know your audience and tells Katurah about how they lied to her, she’s REALLY put off.  Sometimes they show potential flips like this to create drama. Is this one of those times?  I can’t really tell.

 At Loserville (aka Lulu camp), Kellie feels responsible for losing which means someone there won’t make it to jury. I want to tell Kellie to climb down off that cross.   Whoever gets voted out lost to Dee before she did.  It’s not her fault.  Dr. Doom and Napoleon Dynamite consult about blindsiding Lil Papi.  ND wants Doom out but former Belo has the numbers and his safety-without-power advantage is on the Reba beach.  Kendra tells ND she wants Doom gone and he’s all over it, as are Emily and Lil Papi.  Kellie asks Doom what he thinks to which he replies “I’m sure Kendra is out there dropping my name right now”, DOOM KNOWS ALL and it’s freaky.

 Lack of food, lack of sleep and paranoia run rampant as Emily and Sifu also think they’re targets. Kendra and Kellie want Doom gone but they’re afraid of his idol and start thinking of him as a perfect shield and a number they can use (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’ to Ricky!). They start talking about Lil Papi as an option but Napoleon thinks Doom is still the better choice. Crazy Eyes can’t decide.  It’s like they’re on a scale…and they’re balancing….because like…she’s like….a Libra and like…that’s how she thinks. If I were in the final three with her and Bruce, I’d vote myself out just so I wouldn’t have to listen to her insanity or his pedantic bossing another second.  For their parts, Crazy Eyes and Doom can’t bury the hatchet and Kellie sees this rift as detrimental to her (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’ to Kristyn!). They definitely want to flip on Doom but I don’t think they’re all the way there yet.

 At the first tribal, Jeff crows about how Survivor’s twists mean people who see uncertainty as opportunity become victorious.  Crazy Eyes agrees but thinks building trust is the key, which is what she said to Doom a bit earlier.  Is she trying to keep him calm to keep his idol in his pocket?   Bruce thinks bonds can form but if they’re not tight enough, they’ll fracture.  Lil Papi comes right out and says there are 3 Belo, 2 Reba here and that he knows he’s the target.  At the vote, Bruce keeps his idol in his pocket and Papi is proven right.  He’s voted out 5-1 with Dr. Doom receiving the other vote. (Points for “received vote against” to Jayson!).  

Side note: Kellie has no idea how to spell Sifu (see below) and I suppose "How do you spell your name?" is not a question you want to ask someone on Survivor!

 

 

At the second Tribal, your cousin from Boston didn’t want the taco high to end but had to get back to it. Julie mourns at the idea of getting to know someone and having to vote them out.  Katurah thought she’d be a robot but realized that’s not going to build trust. No indication of where she stands. Kaleb realized he played too hard, too fast and tried to take his foot off the gas but felt it might be too little, too late.  At the vote, Dee is a flat-out bitch saying “We could’ve worked together but you burned that bridge” while Jake votes for Julie “I didn’t have a say last time. I do now”.  As the votes are read, Katurah flipped, siding with Dee and Julie. The votes are Kaleb 4, Julie 2 (Points for “received vote against” and “Jury member” to Roberta!) and (Points deducted for “The tribe has spoken” against Roberta!).  Dee doesn’t seem the forgetful type, and Jake just went against her and lost.  He was right when he said the Reba / Belo war was coming. And his he’s now down Kaleb and likely Katurah.  That’s what you get for breaking the rules

The top three stay the same but it’s Kristyn who leapfrogs Jay, Dalphyne, Ricky and me blasting into 4^th place in the current scores:

1. Roberta: 28
2. Jen: 23
3. Marissa: 18
4. Kristyn: 17
5. Carol: 16
6. Ricky/Dalphyne/Jayson: 13
7. Scott: 12
8. Brian: 10

 Roberta picks up Dee as her lifeline. As Dee was the final lifeline, we are all playing without a net from here on out. Good luck!

 

 

Rules for Reality Games

 

Rules for Reality Games

We hold these Reality Game truths to be self-evident, that similar game mistakes are created equal across competitions, that they are endowed by their creator to cause certain unalienable damages, that among those damages are misunderstandings and drama which can lead to the end of a player’s game. To prevent these mistakes, Rules shall be set forth to guide the players.  The rules are as follows:

1. STFU:  When a player has an advantage, or a secret power they shall keep that knowledge to themselves. Sharing it to "gain trust" with another player will result in that player sharing it with others...for the same reason!
2. Trust, but verify:  When a player is told information counter to that players knowledge, trust the source but verify its truth with other players.
3. Play to win:  Mid-to-late game opportunities to dismiss a stronger player shall not be passed up, even if allied with that player.  There’s only one winner.
4. Know your audience:  When sharing information, a player shall consider the recipient with whom they share it, with whom the recipient is allied and how the information can be used against the player.
5. Open your eyes: If a player is convinced someone is allied with them, consider how that ally might work against them and plan accordingly.
6. When your enemy is making a mistake, let them:  When someone does something obviously destructive to their game, don't get in the way. Every step is a step closer to winning.
7. Always say yes: If approached to join an Alliance, Final Three, Final Two, say yes. Saying no is like saying "Please target me!".  Say yes, and then do whatever you want. 

Big Brother 2023 - Final Update

 

It all comes down to this.  Going into the final week, Marissa leads Jen 145-129 but Jen still has Jag in the game while Marissa’s players are both on the jury.  Can she score enough “leftover” points to hold off Jen’s charge?  Let’s see!

 We start off on Sunday where the Final Four all cheer following Circe’s eviction (Points for “Speak in Opening Vignette” to Roberta, Carol, Jayson and Jen!).   New HOH Bowie is nominating Felicia but who else?  It’s a pickle, says she! Jag reminisces about Circe going to Jury (Points for “Shown on camera in gray” to Kristyn!) and Matt thinks it sucks that she’s gone but “it wasn’t up to him.” Keep that thought in mind.  Felicia understands the only thing that matters is who wins veto and dadgummit…she’s gonna win it.  The crickets can’t chirp more loudly.

 In the HOH room, Jag’s work on Bowie taking him to finals pays off, as she agrees Matt has to be the nominee.  But how will they do it that doesn’t crush their relationship right when they might need him?  They decide Jag will ask Bowie to pick a number between 1-100, she’ll pick 70 and Jag will guess 73.  They do it, Matt guesses 77 and agrees to go on the block.  Absolutely scummy! (Points for “Nominated for eviction” to Roberta and Jayson!). 

 At the veto, the Scrambleverse has scrambled their timeline and they have to put it back in order.  This one is about speed but it’s also about process and despite Felicia fighting for her life (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Jayson!) Jag’s is the best and he wins veto again! (Points for “Win veto” to Jen!).  He’s still salty about being evicted, reminding us that he’s often been a target (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Jen!) but he’s been in control of the game for over a month now so….it’s time put down the salt, guy. I’m instituting this as Greengold’s Rule #4:  Know when to get over it

 Matt hopes Jag remembers when he used the power of Invincibility on him while Felicia tries to sell Jag on Matt going.  Jag debates on whether Felicia or Matt is easier to beat.  According to the internet, he’d settled on evicting Matt and production talked him into keeping him.  I’m not sure that’s true but I hope it isn’t.  The game is “managed” enough –an outcome like this should be up to the players.  In the end, Jag votes to evict Felicia, making her 6^th member of the jury (Points for “Received vote against” and “Jury Member” to Jayson!) and (Points deducted for “Evicted” against Jayson!).  In his goodbye message, Jag tells Felicia he protected her until he couldn’t anymore (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’” to Jen!) but I think that’s BS because it implies, he did it for her benefit.  He didn’t. He did it because it helped him.

 Tuesday was mostly a reminiscing episode, but (Points for “Speak in opening vignette” to Roberta, Carol and Jen!) and (Points for “Referencing ‘in this game’” to Jen and Roberta!).  No points for reminiscing moments – you got those already. Don’t be greedy!

 At the finale, it’s Matt and Bowie in the opening vignette (Points for “Speak in opening vignette” to Roberta and Carol!)  and shocking no one, everyone HAS to win the next comp which combines all the multiverses. They sit on comic book quote bubbles attached to ropes that slam them into a haunted house, then get swung back to be dipped in “eggs” while the Humiliverse dumps…hair on them.  That’s almost as gross as Felicia’s toenails.  Bowie drops first at 1h 24m and after another hour, Matt and Jag decide to play rock, paper, scissors to determine who wins.  Matt takes it home with good ol’ rock, winning Final HOH Part 1 (Points for “Win HOH Part 1” to Roberta!)

 

 

Dr. Will interviews the jurors and I’m left wondering if he looked in a mirror before stepping onstage.  His hair is awful.  Unfortunately for the eliminated (Jay, Dalphyne, Ricky, Marissa, Kristyn and myself) no one scored any points during the jury chat. FWIW, the jury didn’t sound bitter and both Cam and Cory are very much on Jag as the winner as he controlled almost every vote.

 At Part 2 of the HOH, it’s the “Remember the names and put them in order” comp but with the added twist of remembering to which universe they belonged.  Jag goes first and it takes him dozens of tries.  He finishes feeling like he choked at the Superbowl. It’s ok though – Bowie does the same thing Jag does, just slower (Thanks, Sam) leaving her to comment “I’ve been down here so long I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve already started BB26.”  Indeed. At the reveal, Jag needn’t have worried – he beat Bowie by 30 minutes giving him a record 10 comp wins in a season! (Points for “Win HOH Part 2” to Jen!).   

 At Part 3 of the HOH, they must choose which of the three trivia questions about each juror is false.  They are tied at 5 each and each gets the sixth wrong! We’re off to a tiebreaker but Bowie’s not around to win it this time.  Jag gets it right almost precisely and wins the final HOH!  (Points for Win HOH Part 3 to Jen!) 

 Jag: Now what do I do It shouldn’t matter. He’s directed the entire game for almost two months.  The idea that either Matt or Bowie should get votes because people like them better is silly.  Jag ran his own game, and both of their games.  If he doesn’t win it’s a travesty.

• When he wanted Cam gone, Bowie was HOH and she wanted to keep Cam. Cam went anyway. 
• When he wanted Circe gone, Matt was HOH and he wanted to keep Circe. Circe went anyway
• He convinced Bowie to put up Matt instead of him

Their speeches sound like, despite his promises to the contrary, Bowie knows she’s out and sure enough, she becomes the 7^th and final member of the jury (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’” “Received vote against” and “Jury member” and “Finish in 3^rd place” to Carol!) and (Points deducted for “Evicted” against Carol!)

 The Jury questions are good and they all center around the same thing:  For Matt, it’s “We all thought Jag was leading you. Tell us about your big moves.”  He made one: Saving Jag. Everything else we did together.  For Jag, it’s “Did you carry Matt to the final two”.  He didn’t exactly carry Matt but there was a leader of the twosome and it was Jag.  Also for Jag, “You took credit for our evictions in the goodbye messages but  not before the eviction. Is that cowardly?”  Not at all. Noting was certain until it was done. I needed to make sure it was done before saying anything.  LIVING THE VALUES OF GREENGOLD’S RULE #1: SHUT THE FUCK UP!  As I see it, Matt is a great teammate but he is not a great speaker and his disability works against him in settings like this.  It almost seems unfair.  Jag is an accomplished speaker who clearly thinks well on his feet.  He’s all but sewn up this game

 Until the final speeches….

 Matt’s final speech is indicative of who he is.  It’s relatively soft spoken and positive. He talks about how he knew he’d be seen as a comp threat so he backed off winning too many.

 Jag’s speech sounds like it was written by Dr. Doom.  It’s the monologue an evil genius gives right before karma bites him in the ass.  He said to the people he needs to vote for him, and I’m quoting here, “You are on the jury because I willed it so."  If that's not bad enough, he went person by person on how he put them into the jury house, taking credit for singlehandedly evicting nearly everyone.

 Remember twenty seconds ago when he said “Nothing was certain until it was done and I needed to make sure it was done before saying anything”?  I HOPE YOU DO BECAUSE HE CLEARLY DIDN’T!  THEY STILL NEED TO VOTE FOR HIM!  WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS? 

 I was blown away at that speech.  It was the worst possible final speech.  Yes, he needs to take credit for the things he did but that needs to be done apologetically, with grace and humility.  “I’m sorry I had to go take you out but that’s the game.”  Not “You are there because I willed it”.  I have to wonder if he cost himself the entire game right there. Just….wow.

 FWIW, Carol thought they already had their minds made up. Jag better hope they did.

 The final votes come in:  Jag wins by a 5-2 margin (The Mama’s voted for Matt)  (Points for “Winner” and MVP to Jen!)  and (Points for “2^nd place” to Roberta!).  Additionally, (Points for “LVP (least valuable player) to Jen!)  and as Cam’s hair was popular across the land (Points for “America’s Favorite Player” to Marissa!).

 So what does this mean for our scoring?  Marissa picked up 12 big points thanks to Cam’s hair but Jen rides Jag’s incredible final week, two more comp wins and being the MVP (along with having Luke the LVP) to her first Big Brother championship by a score of 183-157!  Congratulations, Jen on being crowned this year’s Big Brother winner!  Seasoned vet Jayson comes in 3^rd with 115 while newcomer Roberta finishes in 4^th at 107.  The rest of us?  We’re all also-rans. 

 It's been a great season. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.  We’ll have some scoring changes and new scoring categories next year!  Until then....

Big Brother Week Ending Thursday November 2nd

It’s Big Brother’s penultimate week and our game is still up in the air! Can Marissa hold off Jen?  Jay is 35 points back but with many points still out there! Can he count on Felicia to come from behind to take it home? What happened this week? Let’s have a look!

 We pick back up with “The final 5 cheer” (Points for “Speak in opening vignette” to Roberta, Jay, Carol, Kristyn and Jen!) but it’s not all smiles for Circe who cries at the loss of Ms. Incomprehensible (Points for “Shown on camera crying” to Kristyn!).  We flash back to pre-eviction where Felicia telling Blue she’s the target.  She denies it but it’s clearly jury management.  Mama Fe shouldn’t worry about it. If she receives a vote to win, it’s a travesty of justice.  Jag and Blue have the “We’ve worked together since the beginning, but I’d have gone for you too” conversation which reminds us of the Chill-billy Red but leaves Blue in tears (Points for “Shown on camera in gray” to me!) and (Points for “Shown on camera crying” to Marissa!). Before the eviction, Blue comes clean to Circe that she knew Jared was her son leaving both in tears again.  (Points for “shown on camera crying” to Marissa and Kristyn!)  and eventually, the faded memory of Kitty Kitty Purr (Points for “Shown on camera in gray” to Marissa!)

 Post Bowie’s Double Eviction Night HOH win (for which Carol already got points), we see Bowie have no acknowledgement that she loses to both Matt and Jag in the final two. The Aussie has two difficult conversations ahead: One with her target America who begs and pleads saying she’ll go home if she’s nominated which Bowie lies (badly) about and the other convincing Felicia to be a pawn again.  The toothless fairy is an unhappy pawn but she agrees (Points for “agree to go up as a pawn” to Jay!)

 Post-Veto, America begs Matt to use it on her, but he won’t, leaving America in tears (Points for “Shown on camera crying” to Ricky!).  After her eviction,  Matt promises Circe he’d never nominate her and that Felicia would be his target. Let’s put a pin in that, shall we? Meanwhile, Matt and Jag clear the air as Matt completes the lie circle, saying no way he told Circe he’d go after Jag and Felicia made it up.  Easy to believe – Felicia is a shit-stirrer, after all. Matt does follow Greengold’s 2^nd rule: Trust but verify  as he confirms what happened with Circe leaving the Survivor legend to SMDH at the “toothless fairy” spilling the beans.  Jag tells us he doesn’t trust Circe at all, and all I can picture is:

 Felicia tells us she’d nominate Matt and Jag if she wins.  If I were them, I wouldn’t sweat it.  

 It’s a “eliminate the other person’s bb comic by rolling a ball and hitting it” HOH comp, Matt and Jag go after Felicia while Mama Fe and Circe go after Jag and every time she announces her target she SHOUTS IT. Circe notes that Matt will never go against Jag (Points for “reference in this game” to Kristyn!) and it’s Matt who takes home his first HOH! (Points for “Win HOH” to Roberta!).   Matt’s gotta go after Jag here, right?   Talk him down from winning veto and then backdoor him?  Circe and Felicia definitely think Bowie Jane should see the block but Matt decides to nominate both mama’s instead leaving Felicia bewildered as “they had a Final 4 deal”. (Points for “nominated for eviction” to Jay and Kristyn!). So much for Matt never nominating Circe.  With this move, it’s clear Matt is thinking about “What’s best for OUR game”.

 On Halloween, everyone left cheers Matt’s “I have a girlfriend” letter from Reilly (Points for “Speak in opening vignette” to Roberta, Jay, Kristyn, Jen, and Carol!). In their post-nomination DR sessions, Circe feels betrayed, Felicia warns us that they better stop using her as a pawn and that as Blue showed, pawns go home (Points for “shown on camera in gray” to Marissa!). Matt feels like his best chance is a final 3 with Jag and Bowie. It’s a good thing he’s pretty because if he thinks his best chance at winning includes Jag in the game, he’s a beautiful idiot.  Matt, Jag and Bowie solidify their alliance as Jag gives them a name – “The Mafia” (Points for “name an alliance” to Jen!) because “they’re taking shots”.  Seriously?  You know who else takes shots? Alcoholics.

 Circe and Felicia play pool outside as she’s still too pissed at Matt to talk to him. They both complain about the three being up in the HOH room kissing ass.  Later on, Felicia files and clips her toenails ON CIRCE’S BED.  AYFKM?  That’s NASTY and Circe is totally grossed out.  WTF? Ugh.  Meanwhile, Jag starts working Bowie as his final 2 because he’s thinking about “What’s best for MY game”. There’s only one winner, after all.  They quickly turn to Circe as the target and Jag knows he’ll have to get Matt on board.

 For this week’s veto comp, they have to build an “antenna” by stacking blocks atop each other on a floating pedestal.  Matt’s told Circe she’s safe but she thinks she’s fighting for her life in this veto (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’ to Kristyn!) Every move they make in the water shakes the pedestal. Jag channels his inner Phil Dunphy (Google it) saying “Slow is smooth and smooth is fast”. He goes super slow but winds up pulling out his SEVENTH veto win of the summer, making him the all-time Veto king! (Points for “Win veto” to Jen!). I feel like “Set an all-time record” should be a scoring category. Alas!

 Despite all evidence to the contrary, Felicia still thinks their final 4 is a thing and Bowie should go up as a replacement nominee.  Proving the power of denial is stronger than the power of reality.  Her BS detector needs a serious tuneup. Bowie and Jag are convinced Circe is the right move but still haven’t gotten Matt there when the Scaryverse sends another message.  This is easily the longest any Big Brother twist has gone and I love it.  They have a Halloween Trick-or-Treating luxury comp with the winner getting $5,000.  As Jag has already won cash, he pushes Bowie to give to Matt.  She’s STILL doesn’t see that she’s the third wheel in their bromance.  Circe is happy they didn’t give anything to Bowie because maybe she’ll finally see how they acted to everyone else (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’ to Kristyn!). In the end, Matt takes home the cash and now he can take Reilly on a great date! (Points for “Win a special competition” to Roberta!). 

 At the veto meeting, Jag doesn’t save either of the Mamas leaving Felicia truly pissed.  Jag notes that Circe is a wonderful friend….to Matt but he can’t just vote her out because that’d burn Matt’s bridge right when he might need him to get to the finals.  Honestly, if Matt chooses to sit next to Jag he’s dumber than I thought.  There’s no way that kindness would be reciprocated but Matt’s playing for THEM. Jag’s playing for HIM...and for Jen because it’s about time Jen won Big Brother (so she says).

 On Thursday, Circe complains about Felicia doing toenail surgery on her bed (Points for “Speak in opening vignette” to Kristyn!).  Both Mama’s think the other is the pawn but neither is comfortable.  Jag gets to work on Matt, asking who he thinks is better at comps. Matt thinks it’s Felicia but Jag does the Chicago “Razzle Dazzle” shuffle, saying Felicia has been in must-win situations all season. We know what she can do.  Circe hasn’t and has been throwing comps. 

 

 Bowie joins them and is solidly with Jag.  Matt’s worried that if he pushes back too hard, he’ll get on their radar.  THERE’S NO MORE RADAR! THERE’S ONLY ONE WEEK LEFT IN THE GAME!  Also, Jag is pushing Matt and he doesn’t seem not worried about being on Matt’s radar. This tells anyone paying attention who’s really running the game.  Circe knows what’s up, of course, as she makes her pitch to Bowie. She knows they haven’t been close since the Red vote (Points for “Shown on camera in gray” to me!). Bowie and Circe do the Liar’s Dance leaving Circe more unsettled than when she was on the block against Cam (Points for “Show on camera in gray” to Marissa!)

 As Jag and Bowie do some running, Jag jokes that he’s an Olympian too. Overhearing it, Felicia sees an opportunity to drive a wedge in the bromance, telling Matt that they insulted his being deaf. They quickly clear the air (again) later on leaving Jag pissed at Felicia, saying they’ve carried her here the entire game, despite how much she lies (Points for “Reference ‘in this game’ to Jen!).  

Could this be Felicia's final stir of the pot?

 At the vote, despite Matt telling her she wouldn’t go on the block and despite his telling her she’s not the target, Circe is evicted 2-0 (Points for “Received vote against” and “Jury member” to Kristyn!) and (Points deducted for “Evicted” against Kristyn!).  In the end, gameplay won out over emotion and let’s be honest, Circe should be used to getting voted out just before the finale anyway. It’s her lot in life. She’s got a lot of charisma too - very funny in her conversation with Julie.

 The next HOH comp is similar to last weeks:  Seven questions referring to the “Chenbot” comic book (now available on newsstands and most devices). Most right wins. Jag takes a quick lead but Bowie ties it up at three.  Jag takes the lead back but Bowie ties it back up at four!  After the 7^th question, it’s a tie with Felicia way out of it, which is a shame.  A Felicia HOH right now is just what the game needs.  At the tiebreaker, it’s Bowie who takes the victory for her 3^rd HOH – all won on tiebreakers! (Points for “Win HOH” to Carol!)

  Jen’s veto win, naming an alliance and other references result in her slowly gaining on Marissa who maintains her lead with flashbacks, and crying points. If Jag goes on to win, it’ll finally be Jen’s time to win Big Brother.  At 35 points back, Jay is still in it but will need Felicia to accomplish the impossible to get there.  Current scores: 

1. Marissa: 145
2. Jen: 129
3. Jay: 110
4. Scott: 98
5. Roberta: 84
6. Ricky: 70
7. Kristyn: 63
8. Carol: 60
9. Dalphyne: 48

Survivor Update: Week 6

 

We pick back up with Belo after Brando’s untimely end.  Lifeline Kendra is eager to work with the people who just tossed him as she openly wonders if these four can go further in the game (Points for “Reference in this game” to Marissa!). Of course, she says that. What else is she going to say? “You’re all dead to me”?  Privately, she wants revenge on Emily and feels Survivor is a perfect place for Karma because like…she’s like…a Libra…you know? And like..that means….Ugh. Between her eyes and her hyper-ness, I’m beginning to root against her.  Just too much. Sorry, Marissa!

 At Lulu, everyone is Idol hunting but it’s BRUUUUUUUCE who finds the Beware advantage! (Finding the Beware is a non-scoring category this year, to be added next year). Right after he finds it, a boat arrives, and tribes are going to be merged. Everyone has a few minutes to gather their stuff. It’s time to DROP YOUR BUFFS!  The whole tribe helps BRUUUUUUCE keep Katurah at bay while he frantically digs until he scores! (Points for “Find a hidden immunity idol” to me!). 

 Everyone on the other tribes seems happy except Dee who has a permanent scowl.  I suspect she’s the person in your life who always finds something to be upset over.  As the tribes merge, Kaleb is happy to be in the game with his #1, Emily (Points for “Reference in this game” to Roberta!). Crazy eyes Kendra freaks out at the idea of food and while BRUUUUUUCE is building/directing the new shelter, Katurah scoffs at how “BRUUUUUUCE is out there Brucing”. While they work, Kendra dishes to BRUUUUUUCE about what happened to Brando noting how information is power in this game (Points for “Reference in this game” to Marissa!)

 Emily’s apology tour finally ends as she formally meets and apologizes to BRUUUUUUCE for calling him out on Day 1.  BRUUUUUUCE accepts the apology but keeps his knife sharp.  Austin gathers his former Reba bandmates, Napoleon Dynamite, Julie and Dee and goes off AGAIN about the god-damned sandwich, saying he wants Kellie and J. Maya out because of it.  Oh, also he wants them out because the amulet they forced him to take becomes more powerful if they go.  This may not sit well with Napoleon who likes to direct the traffic.

 The day after the merge, Kaleb and Emily solidify their final 2. I wouldn’t trust Kaleb at all but I’d definitely use him to get further. Kaleb thinks they see him as a golden retriever, but they all see him for what he is – a fox in the henhouse. BRUUUUUUCE gets angry at Kaleb flitting between people. He’s BRUUUUUUCE’s ally – why should he talk to other people?!?! Kaleb thinks that is archaic and the generational gap swallows the trust the two had built with each another.  Meanwhile, Little Papi embraces the day-after-the-merge downpour in true John Locke style.  All that’s missing is a scar across his eye.

 

 At the competition, the not-quite-merged tribes are divided into groups of 6 with Katurah drawing the short straw.  She won’t compete but chooses to suffer (or gain) the results of the Blue team. The teams are:

Blue: Little Papi, Napoleon Dynamite, BRUUUUUCE, Austin, Julie and Crazy Eyes Kendra

Red: Kaleb, J. Maya, Jake (your cousin from Boston), Dee, Emily and Kellie

 Blue takes a quick lead diving through the mud as J. Maya’s hair gets tangled in the rope but Red makes up some time with Napoleon giving himself a wedgie while bouncing down the rope ladder.  THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT ON SURVIVOR!  Napoleon and Auston quickly put the puzzle together while Crazy Eyes Kendra solves the phrase in a heartbeat.  Blue wins immunity and reward! (Points for “Tribe Immunity win” and “Tribe reward win” to Carol, Jay, Dalphyne and yours truly!). They’re going to the Sanctuary. Red’s going home hungry.

 At lunch, they eat with completely covered in dried mud with their hands which can’t possibly be sanitary.  Little Papi throws J. Maya out as a target which is completely fair – all the ex-Reba women want him gone. Julie deflects, throwing out Kaleb and Emily which Crazy Eyes agrees to.  There’s only room for one set of crazy eyes on the merged tribe, and Kendra says it’s her!  Katurah doesn’t understand why ex-Belo is ok with Kaleb as a target.  Her BRUUUUUCE hatred has blinded her.

 Back at camp, everyone takes an ocean bath. J. Maya thinks Emily and Kaleb are good targets. She pitches it to Dee who nods yes but privately tells both Jake and Kaleb she wants J. Maya out.  They’re surprised but fine with it, as is Kellie whose amulet gets upgraded if J. Maya goes.

 As the winners return and go bathe the losers wait impatiently.  Katurah gets Kendra on board with J. Maya but BRUUUUCE isn’t voting anyone but Kaleb.  The old man convinces Austin and Napoleon that Kaleb is the bigger threat. Napoleon then gets Sifu and Auston on board, leaving Austin to comment AGAIN about the sandwich.  Oh, for god’s sake, Austin!  He’s worse than the “I WANT MY $2!” kid from Better Off Dead! He may be a little obsessive over food, but he isn’t an idiot. He knows if the vote is big against someone, he can sacrifice his vote again to fill out his immunity idol’s power.  When Emily hears her #1 is a target, she tries to swing the vote away from him, but she can’t push too hard, or it’ll blow back on her.  She finishes this round of “Who’s it gonna be” telling her #1 Kaleb he needs to play his shot in the dark.

 At tribal, Jeff probes (ha ha ha) at what it’s like when the tribes merge. Napoleon “a lot of oversharing”.  Did Emily and BRUUUUUUCE bury the hatchet? “We’ll see if he writes my name down”, Emily says. “How do you spell it?”, BRUUUUUCE replies sarcastically.  “How do you spell your name” is my single favorite Survivor joke. Kaleb says he’s not the biggest strategic threat out here, leading Little Papi to knock him out of the park by saying “If it’s not you, who is it?”.  That’s a 474-foot bomb blowing up Kaleb’s game to straight away center field right there.  Kaleb names The Coven of Julie, Dee and J. Maya as more dangerous.  Dee, naturally, huffs at the thought until Kaleb reminds her that she threw his name out first.  J. Maya can’t believe anyone is thinking of voting for her over Kaleb while Napoleon thinks these are big swings but whether they are homers or strikeouts remains to be seen. Indeed.

 At the vote, Kaleb calls out J. Maya’s leading J. to near tears.  Austin, wisely noting that he’s nowhere near being a target, chooses to sacrifice his vote. (Another non-scoring category I’ll add next year).  Before he reads the votes, Jeff notes that Kaleb heeds Emily’s warning and plays his shot in the dark which has only worked once and…IT WORKS FOR THE 2^nd TIME EVER! (Points for “Play shot in the dark” to Roberta!). He reads the votes – it’s 11-0 against Kaleb but none of them count! (Points for “Received vote against” to Roberta!). They will revote. Kaleb is safe and in absolute shock

 

 The politicking begins and quickly ends with J. Maya trying to marshal votes against Emily while Emily pushes people toward J. Maya.  At the revote, it’s J. Maya who receives all 10 votes (Points for “Received vote against” to nobody!) and (Points deducted for “The tribe has spoken” against nobody!).

 

Thou art now Merged! Enjoy going back to camp tonight.  Yeah. Sure!

Huge vote totals lead to big changes in what’s been an otherwise quiet scoreboard. On the strength of Kaleb’s near-demise, newcomer Roberta rockets to the top of the leaderboard leaving Jen in 2^nd while Marissa plays stalking horse in 3^rd. Jay drops from 3^rd to 6^th, Carol from 2^nd to 4^th and Ricky 2^nd to 5th while Dalphyne and I move out of the cellar, leaving room for Brian and Kristyn to take the space in the current scores:

1. Roberta: 23
2. Jen: 20
3. Marissa: 15
4. Carol: 14
5. Scott, Dalphyne, Ricky: 12
6. Jay: 11
7. Brian, Kristyn: 10

View the scoresheet here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1o3xil1TASvf7OwAttqr8cBDm9gLCtvX2/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=103598532985683889571&rtpof=true&sd=true