Welcome back to Pretend Points BIIIIIIIIIG BROTHER! When last we left, Lisa, Kimo and Kenney were put on the block by OMGOMGANGELA, which was surprising because she seemed to think Matt had threatened her during their conversation in the HOH room. He did but, as goofy as he is, it’s possible he didn’t realize it.
A reminder that I traded Lisa to Jay for Angela, and it
takes effect this episode.
We pick up on Wednesday with Angela in the opening vignette (2 points for “Speak in opening vignette” to Me!) and she kicks us off saying Kenney is her target but she’s still threatened by Matt because…wait for it…he didn’t give her a post-veto ceremony hug. Memo to Angela: Never ascribe to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Kimo and Lisa both shed some tears at being nominated (2 points for “Shown on camera crying” to Jay!), and both are convinced they have to win the veto (2 points for “’mention I have to win << comp name >> to Jay!) and Lisa feels backstabbed because she doesn’t know everyone hates her.
Angela convinces herself the house is on her side with nominations, except for Matt because he didn’t hug her. Didn’t his psychic powers tell him he should be grateful to not have been nominated??? In the HOH room, she goes off on a rant to Joseph and Chelsie, making fun of his eyes. She spends an awful lot of time up there alone obsessing over him.
Meanwhile, Matt and Makensy make goo-goo eyes at each other
(SWIDT?)(Google it, old people), and they form a three-person alliance with Leah named “The Throwmance”
(3 points for “Come up with a formal alliance name” to Dalphyne!), (6 points
to Ricky, 3 points to Dalphyne for “Be part of a formal alliance”!) Now that they’ve solidified their alliance,
Makensy breaks Rule
#1 and tells them about her power.
At the same time, Quinn creates a 7-person alliance with Cam, Joseph,
Cheslie, Kimo, T'Kor and Angela called The Collective (3 points for “Come up
with a formal alliance name” to Jen!), (6 points to Carol, 3 points to Jay,
Roberta, Marissa and me for “Be part of a formally named alliance”!).
And then everything goes sideways. And I mean….off the wall, off the other wall, off the stone guy in the corner and up into space looney toons.
Self-isolated in the HOH room, Angela obsesses over Matt having
a good time and convinces herself he's starting a war with her. She also doesn’t trust The Collective alliance
that Joseph and Quinn just included her in.
“Why doesn’t she trust her allies?”, you may ask.
“Don’t look for logic when crazy is in play”, I say, “and it’s
definitely in play”.
She goes from “The alliance is just trying to keep me comfortable” to “I have no power or control” to “I WONT GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT” to muttering Latin incantations while holding a voodoo doll of Matt she made with some Fritos and bits of hair pulled from the HOH room shower. I may have embellished that last part, but not by much. She wants to “crucify crazy-eyes” (her words, not mine).
And then, she emerges from her room and EXPLODES. From the stairs between the HOH room and kitchen, Angela delivers one of the all-time great rants. She’s flattered, you see, that she was such a threat to Matt (who has no idea they were even in a fight) and calls him Crazy-Eyes in front of everyone.
Now, I’m thick skinned when it comes to insults but how anyone could hear what she said and not get pissed about it is beyond me. I can’t believe I traded for her on purpose! Where is the “Just happy to be here” camp mom???
She also goes off on her “alliance”, saying their performance was good for a low-budget movie. Everyone is stunned. Then she goes off on Makensy saying she can do better than “Crazy-eyes”. Leah’s jaw is on the floor as Angela finishes with how she’s “trying to be mature about this and it brings Makensy to tears. (1 point for “Shown on camera crying” to Dalphyne!). Joseph finishes the segment with perfect “I think that’ll make the episode” deadpan.
Indeed.
Interlude: In case you wonder why I say no one should ever share whether they have a secret power, picture yourself as Quinn watching the only person you told about your secret power melt down in front of everyone.
Just. Shut. Up.
Somehow, they resume normalcy and pick players for the
veto. Since 4 are already set (HOH+3 nominees),
Angela picks the remaining two, and it’s Joseph and Brooklyn (1 point to
Roberta for “Picked for veto via random draw”) and (2 points to Jen for “Picked
for veto via Houseguest Choice).
Smug Angela is beside herself that Crazy Eyes doesn’t get to play. She’s
insufferable and I hope she’s a have-not next week.
Matt breaks down at the thought his mom saw how mean Angela
was (1 point for “Shown on camera crying” to Ricky!), while (1 point
each for “Mention I need to win << comp name >> to me and Jay!) as both Angela and Kimo
assure us of their Veto win needs.
At the veto, it’s the “spell the longest word” comp with a
twist or two. After 12 minutes of slippery yet sticky slop, Lisa takes home the
victory! (4 points for “Win Veto” to Jay!) and chooses to use the veto on herself. Unsurprisingly, Matt is chosen as the
replacement nominee. (1 point for “Nominated for eviction” to Ricky!)
We pick back up on Thursday and Joseph’s perfect deadpan opens the show (2 points for “Speak in opening vignette” to Roberta!). Angela thinks Matt has the backdoor coming to
him while Kenney is sure he’s still the target (1 point for “Mention ‘I have
to win << comp name>>’” to Dalphyne!). Matt's lack of understanding why Angela's targeting him sends him on a vote-building spree, and leads to the creation of The Barbershop Alliance (3 points for “Come up with formal alliance
name” to Ricky!) and (6 points each for “Be part of a formal alliance” to
Ricky and Carol!), (3 points each for “Be part of a formal alliance” Dalphyne,
Jen, Roberta and Marissa!) which he hopes will keep him safe. Their DR sessions don’t seem that promising
to me, however. Brooklyn, Quinn, and Cedric
all think Matt is the bigger target.
Editorial: I always
say get the biggest target out, and Matt is definitely a bigger target here
but after how she acted, I have a big problem giving Angela what she wants.
Maybe it’s just the contrarian in me, but that would grate against me something
fierce.
Meanwhile, T’Kor thinks Kimo should be kept around (1
point for “Mention ‘in this game’” to Marissa!”) but Brooklyn and Lisa are
non-committal on whether they’d keep him. Angela then goes off on Kenney
because he might want Matt to win, leading the cop to divulge Matt is his #1
ally. It’s a good thing you retired from
undercover work, guy. Angela can’t believe Kenney doesn’t want to fight against
Matt. (1 point for “Mention ‘in this game’” to me!). In the DR, Quinn
laughs at Kenney for falling on his sword for Matt. “You’ve known him a week!”. Kenney is now coming for Angela.
At the AI Arena challenge, the three nominees have to determine which houseguest appears most in series of images. After two very confusing minutes, they all choose a different answer and it’s Kimo who comes away with the right one. (4 points for “Win special comp” to Jay!). Angela is ecstatic at that result, and I want to throw up. They have a brief minute to convince people for their votes (1 point each for “Mention ‘in this game’” to Dalphyne and Ricky!). In his speech, Matt forgives Angela and she’s so self-centered that she doesn’t understand why.
At the vote, Lisa mentions how good Julie looks (1 point
for “Mention “<< X >> is
iconic’” to Jay!”). The votes come out, and much to my chagrin Matt is
evicted 8-3 (8 points for “Received vote against” to Ricky!), (-2 points for
“Evicted” against Ricky!), (6 points for “First person evicted after our
game starts” to Ricky!), and (3 points for “Received vote against” to
Dalphyne!).
They put the game first, and I get that. Any other moment I’d
be yelling if they did it the other way, but I hate that Angela got her
way. We close the show as Makensy’s would-be showmance heads out the door which brings her to tears. (1 point for “Shown on camera
crying” to Dalphyne!)
What does that mean for our scores? Jay remains in first thanks to Kimo and Lisa’s
comp wins but Ricky is right behind because Matt racked up a bunch before he took off. Jen and Dalphyne lead the also-rans while Carol, Scott,
Marissa and Roberta wonder if their players will ever get screen time! Why in
the world did I trade for Angela? #BRINGBACKLOLO!
Current Scores:
- Jay: 34
- Ricky: 31
- Jen: 19
- Dalphyne: 16
- Carol: 13
- Scott: 11
- Marissa: 10
- Roberta: 10
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